Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In todays world the parents are more educated there fore they know how the mind works therfore in many culture the parent told their children that they can achieve anything if they try their best. the advantages are more than the disadvantages i will also share my openion before conclusion.

One of the major benefit is that when the family member told the children that nothing is imposible if you try hard enough it makes the child motivated and it is the kind of support that their parents trust him. it leads to a positive outcome such as their child struggleg more harder in the postive way for instance when i was in my FSc and i got 688 marks out of 1100 at that harshed condition only my mother supported me at that time. i told her i will work hard at university and i will win Gold medal. and she told me the exact word if you try hard enough you will achieve anything. and Now alhumdullilah i am a gold medalist therefore trust on youself and try your best you can achieve anythings.

We should consider the disadvantages of as well. So one of the main drawback is that the children must know about their direction. if there direction is worng they cannot get there desire goal. For instance if a child want to achieve the 8 bands in ielts and he watching reels all the time even when he decided to study for their ielts exam but when he on the leptop and then he start playing games in leptop so it is very necessary to check your direction time to time. Either i am moving in the right way.

In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages on the both sides. The advantage outweigh the disadvantages of the children can achieve anything if they try their best. In my openion the balance approach is the best way to move forward to maximize the benifits while minimizing the drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear: you believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The personal example about earning a gold medal supports the motivational benefit, while the IELTS-and-gaming example illustrates how effort can be misdirected. However, the disadvantage is less fully explained: the point that children need the right direction is relevant, but you could clarify how unrealistic expectations or lack of guidance might lead to disappointment. The introduction also promises to share your opinion, but the argument would be stronger if the main ideas were stated more precisely and developed with balanced explanation. The response meets the task requirements; 8 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression from parental encouragement to your personal example is easy to follow, and phrases such as “For instance” help signal support. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “We should consider the disadvantages of as well” is awkward, and “Either i am moving in the right way” does not connect smoothly to the preceding example. The conclusion repeats the position but its sentence about the advantages outweighing the disadvantages is difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; this would make the organisation more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivated,” “positive outcome,” “direction,” and “balance approach.” The personal example also gives you opportunities to express the topic in relevant terms. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts less natural, such as “trust on yourself,” “struggleg more harder,” and “the exact word.” Spelling errors—including “imposible,” “openion,” and “benifits”—are noticeable and sometimes slow the reader. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for encouragement, effort, and misdirected goals would help you explain the ideas with greater clarity and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if you try hard enough you will achieve anything” and a longer example describing the IELTS student. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur across the response. For example, “the parent told their children” shifts between singular and plural, while “when he on the leptop” is missing a verb. Several sentences run together, particularly the personal anecdote, and capitalisation and full stops are inconsistent. Practise building accurate sentences with subordinate clauses, and then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb, consistent tense, and appropriate punctuation.

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