Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countreis childrens are encouraged to work hard and achieve what they want.In my openion its good way to taught theirs childrens about hardwork and who did hard work they can achieve their goals.

First of all their are many advantages of hard work it keeps you active and engaged.It keeps mind active and fresh and also people have creative mind and can solve their problems easily.Although hard-work sometimes make people tired instead pof that it also makes people strong too.However it keeps thje mind healthy,people can understand the problem,make the decisions and gives solution in difficult situations.

Second benefit is on goals and career,with hard work they can achieve theirs goals and set careers.For example if a student in class daily did its work complete task and prepare his daily lecture then he won medal while who donot work hard they will lose the medal.

Secondly hard work also have some drawbacks its taking too much time to reach to goals.It requireds constant engagment in work and full attention.Some peope can developed stress also when in starting they not getting output as they want.Some other peoples physical health and sleep pattern also disturbed.

Inconclusion,to do hard work its difficult and people live mentally and ophysically disturbed but when they achieve goals they become satisfied.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is broadly positive: you say hard work helps children reach goals, while acknowledging stress and effects on health and sleep. The example of a student earning a medal gives one relevant illustration. However, the discussion is only partial and ideas remain under-developed. The prompt asks about telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough, but much of the response discusses hard work generally; it does not explore the risk of unrealistic expectations or disappointment when effort does not guarantee success. The conclusion also introduces little beyond the earlier points. The response is 34 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support both sides. Develop each advantage and disadvantage with clearer reasoning and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs on benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally understandable, and signposts such as “First of all,” “Second benefit,” and “Inconclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The first benefits paragraph moves from activity to creativity, tiredness, and decision-making without showing how these points connect. “Secondly” is also used to introduce the drawbacks after “Second benefit,” which makes the sequence confusing. Some linking words, including “Although” and “However,” do not clearly express the relationship between the ideas that follow them. Use topic sentences and connect each supporting point explicitly to the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of relevant vocabulary, including “achieve their goals,” “career,” “stress,” and “physical health,” so the main ideas are usually identifiable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “sleep pattern” and “difficult situations.” However, vocabulary is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “hard work,” “goals,” and “people,” and several word choices or forms are inaccurate. Examples include “set careers,” “output,” and “engagment”; spelling errors such as “countreis,” “openion,” and “thje” also make the writing less clear. Aim to use accurate collocations and vary key terms—for example, refer to “sustained effort” or “long-term ambitions”—while checking spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if a student in class…,” and the overall meaning can generally be followed. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation. For example, “who did hard work they can achieve” has an unclear clause structure and inconsistent pronouns; “hard-work sometimes make people tired” has a subject–verb agreement error; and “Some peope can developed stress” uses an incorrect verb form. Missing spaces after full stops and commas also affect readability. Practise building accurate sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and tense before adding more complex clauses.

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