Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Giving a good advice to children is a wonderful thing to motivate them.In some cultures it is a good advice to told their children that they can achieve anything if they try hard.In this essay we will discuss the advantages and disadvanges of that advice.

One of the main advantage of telling children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough is to motivate the children because a motivated person can do anything to achieve their goals. Majority of the childern has their goals to achieve such as in education or in any sports. For example if a student desire to achieve a gold medal in a sports event of his school or college, if he is demotivated then that kind of advice will make him motivated to achieve his goals.

However, there are also some disadvantages to give that kinf of message. The most significant drawback is that giving advice in a negative goals of childern, never give advice like you can do anything or get anything if you try hard in a negative things like revenge taking or illegal things. For instance if a children want to stole anything that kind of advice will be totally irrelevent it can make the children mind motivated in negaive things.

In conclusion, although it motivates the children to get their goals and this offers serveral advantages, it also have some noteable disadvantages. Overall, i believe that giving a good advice can make the students mind more strong on the other hand it is really necessary to identify where the childen's mind is.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is broadly clear: the message can motivate children, but it should not be applied to harmful aims. The school-sports example supports the motivational point, while the example about stealing illustrates your concern about misuse. However, the discussion is limited and the disadvantage is framed narrowly around children pursuing illegal or harmful goals, rather than considering other consequences, such as disappointment when effort does not lead to success. The conclusion repeats the main points without developing them. The response also falls five words short of the 250-word minimum; 19 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from the count. Develop each side with clearer explanation and fuller examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for the advantage, one for the disadvantage, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “However” and “In conclusion” help signal the movement between these sections, and the main ideas are generally presented in a sensible order. At times, though, connections within paragraphs are mechanical or unclear. For example, the sentence beginning “The most significant drawback” is difficult to follow because it combines the idea of harmful goals with advice about what not to say. The conclusion’s “on the other hand” also introduces a contrast that is not clearly explained. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivate,” “goals,” “disadvantages,” and “drawback.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “gold medal” and “revenge taking.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less natural: “a good advice,” “negative goals,” “irrelevent,” and “negiative things” are examples. Repetition of “advice,” “children,” and “achieve” also restricts variety. Aim to use more precise phrases for the possible consequences of this message, and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would make your ideas easier to understand and give the response a more appropriate academic tone.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if a student desire to achieve…” and a contrast in the conclusion. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “One of the main advantage,” “Majority of the childern has,” and “if a children want to stole.” The opening also runs sentences together after “motivate them.” Practise forming accurate clauses with correct subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, such as “a child wants to steal.” Use full stops to separate complete ideas, then build complexity once the basic sentence is controlled.

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