Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern era, parents and their elders advice their youngster and children if they are hardworking so there is nothing impossible for them to achieve.Although it has many benefits but it has also some drawbacks that should be considered.

One major advantage of this message is the children motivation. It motivates youngster to do hardwork and fullfil their dreams. It also bring consistency in their lives. As a result, which benefit them in their future. Another point worth considering is they become dependent. They don't rely on someone for their needs.Tey workhard and never give up indeed they become successfull.

On the other hand, there are several disadvantages.First foremost , they sometimes involve in crimes. They believe that they should earn everything but it's not always true. An other drawback is their wrong mindset. When they heard this from their elders in young age.Consequently, it negatively affect their mind. One thing that comes up into my mind that they suggest their children to start hardwork from young age. As a result, it disturb their health and cause serios health issues for them in the future.

In conclusion, these message from their elders motivates teenagers to workhard to achieve and be successful. Which is always a positive point and it help them in their future.However it also cause helth issues later because of hardwork at a young age. Therefore this advice is important but hardworking from young age is not important.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is broadly that the message can encourage effort but may also harm children. The advantage that it motivates children to pursue their dreams is relevant, as is your concern about health effects from working too hard at a young age. However, the response only partially develops the task: the claim that children “sometimes involve in crimes” is not explained or clearly connected to the message, while “they become dependent” conflicts with the following claim that they do not rely on others. The conclusion also focuses mainly on hard work at a young age rather than weighing the message itself. The response is 9 words below the required minimum. Develop each point with a clear explanation or example and make the relationship between the advice and its consequences explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the two sides of the discussion. You also use signposts such as “One major advantage,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the advantage paragraph moves from motivation to consistency and then to dependence without clearly linking these ideas. Some connections are incomplete, as in “As a result, which benefit them in their future,” and the conclusion begins with a sentence fragment, “Which is always a positive point.” Referencing is also unclear in places, particularly “they” and “this message.” Organise each paragraph around one main idea and use complete sentences and clearer links between claims and explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivation,” “consistency,” “mindset,” and “health issues.” These words help communicate the general ideas, but the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, making some points less clear. For example, “they become dependent” appears to mean the opposite of the next sentence, and “involve in crimes” is an unclear expression in this context. There are also repeated forms such as “workhard” and “hardwork,” alongside spelling errors including “fullfil,” “successfull,” and “serios.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling and word forms. For instance, distinguish “become independent” from “become dependent,” and explain the specific risk you intend to describe.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in “Although it has many benefits but it has also some drawbacks” and a conditional idea in the opening. However, complex constructions are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “parents and their elders advice their youngster,” “It also bring consistency,” and “When they heard this from their elders in young age,” which is an incomplete clause. The conclusion also contains the fragment “Which is always a positive point.” Subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries need more consistent control. Practise writing complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical structure is secure.

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