Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many countries, parents and teachers motivates childern that they can fullfill their dreams by working hard and putting all the efforts for it. While, this messege has powerful benefits, it also has some serious drawbacks.

The main advantage of this belief is that, it will develop self confidence and promotes the self esteem of child.For example,if a child wants to become a doctor and engineer ,than a positive motivation will be beneficial for him to pay more attention towards his goal without the fear of failure. When childern believe their efforts can lead toward success they are more likely to work hard and be more persistent ,by not giving up easily. The positive mindset helps the childern to live more ambitious life,and promote growth mindset ,where childern focus on efforts.

On the other hand,there are several disadvantages of this messege. Firstly,it is not entirely true. Success cannot be achieved by just putting efforts it include many other factors like family background, financial status and your capabiliites in specific field. If child is told he can achieve anything ,he may set some unrealistic goals. When he fails despite trying hard ,he may feel low and heartbroken which may cause certain mental issues like depression and anxiety.For instance, if someone with bad vocals trying to become a singer and peers many encourage his idea but in future there are less chances of him to become good musician which may lead him towards questioning about his efforts.

In conclusion,Although telling childern they can get anything by hard work could be motivating for them but there are some flaws of doing that,so people must encourage them according to their skills and help them to understand their original talent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can motivate children, but encouragement should also reflect their abilities. The benefits are supported with relevant points about confidence, persistence and a growth mindset, while the drawbacks include unrealistic goals and possible emotional harm after failure. The examples help make these ideas concrete. To strengthen the response further, develop the examples and explain their implications more precisely. For instance, the singer example is relevant, but the link between limited vocal ability, encouragement and later disappointment could be clearer. The conclusion gives a sensible qualification, though it could more directly summarise the main benefit and risk rather than restating the need to encourage children according to their skills.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-part structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “The main advantage,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the argument’s direction clear. Within the body paragraphs, ideas generally move from a claim to an explanation or example. Some linking is less smooth, however: “For example” introduces a sentence with several ideas, and the singer example’s final point is difficult to follow. There are also places where punctuation spacing interrupts the flow. To improve, use transitions that show the precise relationship between ideas and make each example’s connection to the paragraph’s main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “self confidence,” “persistent,” “unrealistic goals,” “financial status,” and “growth mindset.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “childern,” “fullfill,” “messege,” and “capabiliites”; “pay more attention towards his goal” and “live more ambitious life” are also awkward expressions. Some wording is repetitive, particularly repeated references to children and effort. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations as complete phrases. More precise alternatives for “bad vocals” and “get anything” would also make the discussion sound more natural and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concessive opening (“While this message has powerful benefits…”) and conditional sentences such as “If a child wants to become…”. However, errors in agreement, articles, sentence construction and punctuation are frequent enough to limit clarity. For example, “parents and teachers motivates” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “it include many other factors” also needs agreement. Articles are missing in phrases such as “if child” and “live more ambitious life,” and the sentence beginning “For instance, if someone…” lacks a clear main clause. Commas are often misplaced or missing. Practise checking each sentence for a complete clause, correct verb agreement and necessary articles, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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