Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some practices, parents and adults give positive messages to kids such as if they work hard, they will accomplish anything they want. This positively impacts their life by bringing positivety in their lives and giving them hope but it comes with some drawbacks like mental stress and inability to accept failure.

Telling kids that anything is possible if they work hard gives them hope. It gives the kids importance and they feel like they are in control. Furthermore, their goals feel achievable and they believe that their work matters. This gives them joy and a sense of belonging. For example, young kids might look forward to school and know that they have a chance to beat other kids in academics if they just try hard. This means they will actually work hard and the win gives them happiness.

However, this does results in some disadvantages. The kids might feel pressured and blame themselves harshly if they don't achieve something. They might get stress and be too hard on themselves. In such a situation they might over work and get sick. For instance, children might not be doing something for experience anymore, rather they would want the first place and if they don't get it. They will be devastated and blame themselves. They won't see their effort only the results.

To conclude, I believe that although giving children positive messages and hope gives them a beautiful spark to believe in themselves, it can also negativily effect their mental health my giving them stress. So it is important to tell young people that even if they failed, they will be loved the same way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: encouragement can create hope and motivation, while unrealistic expectations may cause pressure and distress. The examples about working hard at school and feeling devastated after not coming first help make the points relevant. The conclusion also offers a useful qualification—that children should know they remain loved even when they fail. Some ideas, however, are developed more fully than others: the benefits are mostly described as feelings such as joy and belonging, without explaining their longer-term effects, while the disadvantages focus mainly on stress and self-blame. To strengthen the response further, explain these consequences more precisely and distinguish effort-based encouragement from promising that every goal is achievable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear, effective structure: an introduction presents both sides, separate body paragraphs discuss advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion restates the balanced position. Progression within the paragraphs is generally logical, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “However,” and “For instance” help guide the reader. The final recommendation follows naturally from the discussion. Some connections are less smooth, particularly in the example beginning “For instance,” where the shift from children’s experience to wanting first place could be made clearer. The phrase “This means” also makes the link between effort and happiness somewhat abrupt. Use referencing and transitions more precisely, and ensure each example explicitly illustrates the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, with relevant expressions such as “sense of belonging,” “feel pressured,” and “blame themselves.” There are also attempts to express nuanced effects, including “a beautiful spark to believe in themselves.” However, the range is limited in places, and some word choices or combinations are inaccurate or informal. “Positivety” and “negativily” are misspelled, while “get stress” and “over work” are not natural expressions in this context. Repetition of “kids,” “hard,” and “achieve” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check spelling and collocations; for example, describe children as experiencing pressure or becoming overly focused on results.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses (“if they work hard”) and subordinate clauses explaining consequences. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “this does results” has incorrect verb agreement, and “if they don't get it. They will be devastated” incorrectly separates a dependent clause from the sentence it belongs to. The opening sentence also has an awkwardly constructed example of the message adults give children. There are some longer sentences, but greater control of clause boundaries and verb forms is needed. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and punctuation, and revise sentences with “if,” “although,” and “because” to ensure the clauses are joined correctly.

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