Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is argued that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. although it depends on various situations and mostly had lies disadvantages on the person. This essay will discuss about the advantages and disadvantages that children can achieve anything if they try hard

on the one hand , it encourages children to work hard and stay motivated. they are most likely to be motivated while trying anything and be optimistic in the mind. for instance a student who is weak in a particular subject keeps trying even after failure in the hope that his effort will get good result on day.

on the other hand, it creates unrealistic expectations on the children for having success. even though hard work is important but sometimes the lack of opportunities, financial position, timing make hard to achieve anything in life . for example a children who works hard to became an athlete but fails because of having lack of opportunities in his Field.

in my opinion, it has some drawbacks but i believe its advantages overweight the disadvantages.

in conclusion, although lack of opportunities and financial position affects to achive anything in life but without hardworking on anything we cannot achive anything that's why children can achieve anything it they tey hard-working in every field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: hard work can motivate children, while limited opportunities may prevent success. The examples of a student persisting in a subject and an aspiring athlete help make these points relevant. However, the discussion is brief and the advantages and disadvantages are not developed in enough detail; the opening also promises a discussion but does not clearly establish your position until the conclusion. The response contains 206 words, so it is 44 words below the 250-word minimum; eight words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count. Develop each main point with further explanation and a more specific example, and state your view clearly in the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “on the one hand,” “on the other hand,” and “in conclusion” help readers follow the basic contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and some linking is mechanical or unclear. For example, the opening repeats the task’s claim and then begins an incomplete promise to discuss it; the conclusion also combines several ideas in a long, difficult-to-follow sentence. Improve the flow by making each paragraph develop one central point in a clear sequence, using pronouns and linking phrases precisely, and avoiding repeated claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivated,” “unrealistic expectations,” “lack of opportunities,” and “financial position.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “mostly had lies disadvantages,” “get good result on day,” and “advantages overweight the disadvantages.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “achive” and “hardworking” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing effort and outcomes, and check common collocations and spelling. For instance, use “outweigh” for comparing advantages and disadvantages, and “achieve success” rather than repeating “achieve anything.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession with “even though” and a relative clause in “a student who is weak in a particular subject.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. The opening fragment beginning “although it depends” is not correctly joined to the preceding sentence; “a children who works” has an agreement error, and “make hard to achieve” lacks a clear grammatical subject and structure. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “they” after a full stop and “i” throughout. Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures.

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