Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some part of society, many parents tell their children that they are capable of achieveing everything they want, if they put in considerable efforts. It have some advantages and several disadvantage.

To commence with, one of the advantage is that a children will get motivated and dedicated to their dreams. They will put in hard work to make their dream true. It will help a individual to work diligently. As a consequence, children are likely to develop their creative ability while becoming more productive. Another advantage, the mindste can improve the childern'd career propect, as they may become more determined to develop valuable sklls and pursue well-paid careers. As a result, it will help an individual who have financial issues, become stable by getting a well paid and decent job. It can help him to improve the standard of their lifestyle and make their parents, friends and other relative proud of him.

One major disadvantage is that this belief may create unrealistic expectations in children mind. They may assume that hard work is the only solution to achieve their dreams. They can become more dependant on hard work. Which can lead to dissatisfaction and disappointment. As a result, they could feel frustated or disappointed when their efforts do not produce the desired results. Furthermore, another reason this mindset can also effect childern's emotional well-being. This idea may put excessive pressure on children to get succeed. It will effect the children by getting depressed and making wrong decisions. Which can be effective for both children mental health and career.

In conclusion, childern should be told that it is effective to work hard, but they should also focus on other things as well to maintain the balance and get better result in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant position: hard work can be beneficial, but children should also consider other factors. The advantages are supported with outcomes such as motivation, skill development and financial stability, while the disadvantages include unrealistic expectations, disappointment and pressure. This coverage is solid, but some points are less fully explained than others. For example, the link between the message and pursuing “well-paid careers” is asserted rather than clearly demonstrated, and the final reference to “other things” does not specify what children should balance effort with. To strengthen the response, explain these connections more precisely and develop the conclusion into a clearer summary of the trade-off.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a conclusion. The progression between the two sides is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To commence with,” “As a consequence” and “Furthermore” help guide the reader. However, some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “As a result” and “It will help.” A few sentence boundaries also interrupt the flow, as in “They can become more dependant on hard work. Which can lead to dissatisfaction.” The reference in “It will effect the children” is also not fully clear. Use a wider range of natural transitions and connect related ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivated,” “dedicated,” “unrealistic expectations,” “emotional well-being” and “financial issues.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both practical and psychological effects. However, noticeable spelling errors and inaccurate word forms reduce precision, including “achieveing,” “childern,” “propect,” “sklls” and “frustated.” Some phrases are also awkward or imprecise: “make their dream true,” “get succeed” and “dependant on hard work.” Repetition of “help,” “effect” and “result” limits flexibility. Aim to use accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; more precise phrasing would make the argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “when” and “as.” This gives some variety, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “It have some advantages,” “a children will get motivated,” and “an individual who have financial issues,” where agreement and article use are faulty. The sentence “Which can lead to dissatisfaction” is a fragment, and “It will effect the children by getting depressed” has an unclear grammatical construction. Work on subject–verb agreement, singular and plural forms, and complete sentence boundaries. Building accurate simple sentences first, then adding subordinate clauses, will improve reliability.

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