Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Hardwork is the only key to become succesfull in life. Few relegions, children are often told that anything can be achieved by doing hard enough. I am agree with the statement .

To commence with, India belong to serval religious groups where Parents motivates their children to do hard work and achieve the goals and plans whereas children having confidence to complete their task and goals by doing enough hardwork in the daily life and feel motivated . For instance, jobins made a electronical pump in 1978 with the help of his parent motivation given by his parents wholeday to do something for our village . Hence doing hard work enough can achieve any goal of our life

Further more, after achieving the success in their life they feels overconfident and disrespect the other culture and lower caste individuals . to elaborate it, It cause violence in the country on the basis of caste and knowlegde due to the achievement a person achieve in his life. For epitome , Always show respect only to the culture hi or sh belong and demotivate other without knwing the other culture history. Thus, children don't have enough knowlegde towards other culutre so they disrepect them.

To encapulate, Although not having proper knowlegde of anything cause the distruction on high level basis yet parent are the only one who tought their child all the good and bad things and motivate them to try hard

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both a benefit and a drawback: hard work may help children pursue goals, while success may lead some to become overconfident or disrespectful. However, the response only partially addresses the question. The benefit is illustrated through a brief, unclear example about “jobins” and a pump, and the disadvantage shifts toward caste and cultural disrespect without explaining how the message itself causes this. Your position is also unclear: “I am agree with the statement” does not establish whether you support giving children this message or are weighing its effects. The response is 240 words, below the required 250. Develop each side with a clear explanation and a relevant, understandable example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph about a possible advantage, one about a disadvantage, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To commence with,” “Further more,” and “To encapulate” signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow. The example about making a pump is not clearly connected to the claim about children’s confidence, and the discussion of achievement, caste, and cultural respect moves between ideas without clear links. Some references, such as “it” and “they,” are also unclear. Use topic sentences that state each main point, then explain the connection between the point and its example; make sure each pronoun has an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “achieve,” “goals,” “motivated,” “overconfident,” and “disrespect.” However, the range is basic and several expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes strains understanding. For example, “doing hard enough” and “hardwork enough” are not natural ways to express the idea, while “for epitome” is an incorrect phrase for introducing an example. Spelling errors such as “succesfull,” “relegions,” “knowlegde,” and “culutre” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases, such as “make a sustained effort,” “pursue their goals,” and “respect people from different backgrounds,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to use longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “where Parents motivates their children … whereas children having confidence,” but these structures are often faulty and make relationships between ideas unclear. Errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns, including “I am agree,” “India belong,” “Parents motivates,” and “they feels.” Articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries also need attention; for instance, “made a electronical pump” contains an article problem, and several sentences begin with lowercase “to” after a full stop. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with “because,” “while,” or “although.” Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms in every sentence.

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