Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures children mindsets are build in way that they can achieve whatever they want with help of hard work. Such mental grooming has certain advantages such as increased productivity and resilience. However it disadavantage includes health affects and social isolation.

There are certain benefits associated with a message given to children that trying hard can bring anything to his basket whatever he/she want. The foremost important one is that it increase children productivity. For example trying for a specific aim, he learn a lot of new things side by side which eventually increase their understanding of the relevant neccessary concepts and build theme a knowlegeable pupil. Similarly, this mindset also make them resilience. For example struggling for something of their choice passes them through many processes and hardships which make them resilient and such experiences help them to focus on another possibility easily if in the bed sceniory that aim doesn't achieve.

However, conveying this message of hard work has certain drawbacks that also need be consider. Such type of grooming has serious effects on children mental health and overall being. For example sticking to a single aim for a longer time without getting desirable results affect their health and in most severe case lead to pyschological problems. Not only this such behavour of overly hard work make them isolated which not only affect their health but make them socially isolated and they are not in a strong position to learn social norms and values becase of low contact with the society.

In sum up, the message linked with hard work to achieve thier desire has certain advantages like enhancing their productive capabilities and resiliences but also has certain negative implication on their health and social life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and maintain a clear overall position: the message may build productivity and resilience, but can harm mental health and social relationships. The examples about learning while pursuing a goal and becoming isolated help make the points relevant. This meets the task well, and the response shows some development beyond simply listing advantages and disadvantages. However, several ideas remain general or are not fully explained. For instance, the link between persistence and “increased productivity” could be illustrated more specifically, while the claim that children may struggle to learn social norms would benefit from a clearer explanation of how the message leads to this outcome. Develop each main point with a precise cause-and-effect explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a concluding summary. Signposting such as “Similarly,” “However,” and “In sum up” makes the broad direction easy to follow, and the main ideas generally progress logically within each paragraph. Some linking is mechanical or unclear, though. Repeated openings such as “For example” and “Not only this” make the connections feel formulaic, while the long sentence beginning “Not only this such behavour…” is difficult to follow because several consequences are joined together. Use clearer sentence boundaries and vary the way you connect explanations to examples. More precise referencing would also help readers track which “aim” or “message” each sentence refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “resilience,” “mental health,” “psychological problems,” and “socially isolated.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, the range and control are limited by frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations, such as “mental grooming,” “bring anything to his basket,” “in the bed sceniory,” and “productive capabilities.” These expressions can make the intended meaning harder to understand. Several key words are also repeated, including “message,” “hard work,” and “health.” Build a more reliable set of natural collocations for discussing effort and child development, and check spelling carefully so that your ideas are expressed precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and “if,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “it increase children productivity” needs a singular verb and a possessive form, while “trying for a specific aim, he learn” has an unclear opening structure and incorrect verb agreement. In “drawbacks that also need be consider,” the verb pattern and passive form are faulty. Some long sentences also combine several clauses without clear punctuation, particularly in the disadvantages paragraph. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build longer sentences with controlled clauses.

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