Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

A culture is responsible for the upbringing and the growth of the children residing in a certain culture or region. Culture is actually a set of norms, traditions, values or historical practices in a specific region, these all aspects generate a culture of that region.

Children learn from the environment they are residing in. So, if in a culture, children are told that they can achieve anything if they try hard for it, produces a sense of freedom, confidence and maturity in the children. This is a benificial practice for the growth of the children.Encouraging the children can make them believe that they are capable of doing anything. This would result remarkably, as the children would do even better in their studies and practical life as well. A more confident nation would be raised.

But, this is reffered negatively as well, as we should balance between proud and pride. Excess of anything is bad, if we started to instill pride in our children, they would eventually become intolerant and impatient. Filling up a child's mind with unnesessary proud or overconfidence could backfire as a harmful impact to the society and to the child in person. A person having pride in his mind would not listen to anyone's opinion or suggestion, he would only think that he is the upright person in the room, which is a miserable situation. And it could lead to disrespect, hate and anger.

In conclusion, I would say that we should always encourage the children that they are capable of achieving anything but by the positive and legal means. This brings confidence in the children which is extremely crucial for the development of a better personality. Confident individuals could lift the whole nation upwards. But overconfidence, which is a result of excessive praise could bring up negative results. So, we should always maintain an equilibrium between proud and vanity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: encouragement can build confidence, while excessive praise may foster overconfidence and intolerance. The advantages are supported with outcomes such as improved performance in studies and practical life, and the disadvantages are illustrated through a child refusing to listen to others. However, the discussion sometimes shifts from the specific message that effort can lead to achievement to broader ideas about pride and praise. The opening definition of culture does little to answer the question, and the distinction between healthy encouragement and unrealistic promises could be explained more fully. Develop each side with a more precise example and clarify how effort relates to limits or setbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the balanced position. Linking expressions such as “So,” “But,” and “In conclusion” help signal the main stages. Overall, the ideas can be followed, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “So, if in a culture… produces” lacks a clear grammatical subject, and the opening definition delays the progression toward the task. The conclusion repeats several points rather than drawing them together. Improve progression by beginning with the issue itself, using clearer links between cause and effect, and ensuring each paragraph develops one central point in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a relevant range of vocabulary, including “confidence,” “intolerant,” “impatient,” and “overconfidence,” to discuss possible outcomes. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision. Phrases such as “proud and pride,” “unnesessary proud,” and “the upright person in the room” do not express the intended meanings naturally; “pride” and “vanity” are also treated as if they were interchangeable. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “benificial” and “reffered.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and distinguish confidence from arrogance. Proofreading spelling and replacing repeated general terms with precise language would make the argument clearer and more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if we started to instill pride… they would eventually become intolerant” and a relative clause in “A person having pride in his mind would not listen…”. Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. In “if in a culture… produces,” the conditional clause has no clear main-clause subject; “the children they are capable” also needs a construction such as “the children that they are capable.” There are problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, including the comma splice in the opening definition. Work on complete clause structures, consistent agreement, and punctuation while retaining the range of sentence patterns you are attempting.

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