Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

some cultures are often hey can achieve anyhing if they try hard they achieve every goal in life. nowdays some cultures prefers hard work they think hardworking changed his life they spent life in pleasure vibes . The advantages of try hard they help children in improve of personal life . however for example the thirsthy crow give us a crucial lesson in private life is not just story they can tell try try again help you in any field and in tough struggle if you think this pathway creat difficulties but try hard sought out in all dificulties . This message is benifit for children but some children lazy they do,not like hard work in life it want spports and socially conected . however mostly childern learn lesson about in our goals at the pessage time they try to hard work and improve in life . some cultues teach the lesson related to try hard enough they explain this lesson threw many common example its belive that multiple try cause encourage in teenage childerns in age commenly children want more support and care they want parents give more attention because

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response recognises the topic and attempts to discuss an advantage—hard work may help children improve—and a disadvantage, that some children need support and care. The example of the thirsty crow also suggests persistence. However, the ideas are only briefly stated and their connection to the question is often unclear; for instance, “they spent life in pleasure vibes” does not explain a consequence of teaching children this message. The disadvantages are not clearly developed, and there is no definite overall position. The response also contains 191 words, so it does not meet the required minimum of 250. To improve, explain both benefits and drawbacks directly, give a relevant example for each, and state a clear conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

There is an attempt to organise the response around advantages and disadvantages, and words such as “however” and “for example” show an effort to connect ideas. The thirsty-crow example is also recognisable as support for persistence. However, the progression is difficult to follow because ideas are not separated into clear paragraphs and several points appear without explanation. For example, “some children lazy” and “it want spports and socially conected” are not linked clearly to the preceding claim. Connectors are sometimes used mechanically or in places where the relationship between ideas is uncertain. Use one paragraph for advantages and one for disadvantages, develop each point in a logical order, and make references such as “they” clearly identify who is meant.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “hard work,” “goal,” “difficulties,” “support,” and “attention,” and the thirsty-crow example gives the discussion a relevant image. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “crucial lesson.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices frequently make the meaning harder to understand: “thirsthy,” “benifit,” “pessage,” and “pleasure vibes” are examples. Some phrases, including “improve of personal life” and “multiple try cause encourage,” do not express the intended meaning clearly. Build a reliable range of collocations for discussing effort and child development, and check spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help communicate the ideas without changing their basic meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both short statements and longer sentences, and it uses some clauses to explain ideas, as in “they think hardworking changed his life.” However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to interpret, and control of verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation is inconsistent. For example, “some cultures prefers” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “they can achieve anyhing if they try hard they achieve every goal” joins ideas without a clear grammatical connection. The final sentence also stops at “because,” leaving the thought unfinished. Practise writing complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses accurately. Check agreement and verb forms, and use full stops to separate ideas.

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