Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Around the world in many different cultures, people believe that hard work always pay off and to become successful in your life the sole key is working day and night for your goal.

There are various benefits of striving for your aim. First of all, when a child tries hard then he becomes consistent in his efforts and ultimately learns patience to practice again and again without becoming tired easily. Moreover, working through difficult challenges builds confidence in themselves. Confident children always have innovative ideas and their minds are strong enough to deal with the future challenging tasks. At last, hard work helps in personal growth, making the young minds disciplined and boosting their sense of accomplishment.

Turning to the other side of discussion, some major drawbacks of working too hard is that children can easily burnout and get fatigued. Excess of everything is detrimental to both physical and mental health. Children should also be encouraged to work smartly and pursue the skills whatever they are fond of doing. Secondly, there should be a balanced proportion of everything for the kids as along with work they should also be allowed to relax and play. Loss of leisure time can take the beautiful childhood of the tiny minds. If they spend all the free time on doing the challenging tasks than they will not be able to make friends. play with them and and socialize in the society. Finally, having unrealistic expectations can make your children depressed and anxious. we should always consider that children can function best in their own capacity and demanding something more than what they are capable of would be an oppressive behavior towards them.

To conclude, hard work is the key to success but moderation can lead to a healthy and balanced life both physically and mentally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: effort can build persistence, confidence and personal growth, while excessive pressure may harm children’s wellbeing and social lives. These points are relevant, and examples such as losing leisure time or feeling anxious help explain the disadvantages. The discussion also recognises that children have different capacities. However, the advantages are developed more generally than specifically in relation to the message that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The claim that confident children “always have innovative ideas,” for instance, is asserted rather than explained. To strengthen the response, distinguish the benefits of encouraging effort from the risks of promising unlimited achievement, and develop each point with a clearer explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages and a concluding summary. Signposting such as “First of all,” “Moreover,” “Turning to the other side” and “To conclude” makes the progression easy to follow. This clear structure is a strength. However, the repeated sequencing words make some links feel mechanical, and a few connections between ideas could be more precise. For example, the move from confidence to “innovative ideas” is not fully explained, while the sentence about making friends is disrupted by “play with them and and socialize.” Use a wider range of linking methods, including clear pronoun reference and cause-and-effect connections, and check that each sentence follows smoothly from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “consistent,” “personal growth,” “detrimental,” “leisure time,” and “unrealistic expectations.” These choices help communicate both the benefits and risks of encouraging children to work hard. There are also attempts at more expressive phrasing, such as “the beautiful childhood of the tiny minds,” but this is not a natural collocation and sounds overly figurative for an academic essay. Other combinations are awkward or imprecise, including “work smartly,” “balanced proportion of everything,” and “function best in their own capacity.” Focus on natural collocations and precise wording; this would make the argument sound more fluent and controlled without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response includes a mix of simple and complex structures, such as “when a child tries hard then he becomes consistent” and the conditional construction “If they spend all the free time … then they will not be able to make friends.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “hard work always pay off” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “some major drawbacks … is” should use a plural verb. There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation problems: “play with them and and socialize” is not properly integrated, and “we should” begins a sentence without a capital letter. Review agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation, then proofread for repeated words and incomplete sentence construction.

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