Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some societies, parents often encourage their children by telling them that they can accomplish anything if they work hard enough. Although this belief can help them to achieve their goals, it may also create some unrealistic expectations about what they can achieve.

On the one hand, this message can have a positive impact on childrens' mind. The main reason is that they feel more motivated and determinant to achieve anything in their lives.For instace, A recent servey found that teachers and parents who often told children to work hard, has a powerful impact on children's ablility to accomplish anything. In addition, regarding to the grades in the exams, parents who motivate their children to study hard, may have a chance to secure good grades.

On the other hand, telling their children to work hard enough and achieve anything may sometimes create an unrealistic expectation in children, which can demovate them. In reality, sometime only efforts are not enough, other resources such as financial condition, intelligence and other factors do play a significant role. For instance, children's who are playing in a football team with good numbers and enter into the final stage and other child who have other resources may win the match.

In conclusion, there are several advantages and drawbacks of this statements. firstly, it can motivate children to achieve anything but also

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: the first body paragraph explains that encouragement can increase motivation and support academic achievement, while the second recognises that effort alone may not overcome differences in resources or ability. However, these ideas are only partly developed, and the football example is difficult to follow and does not clearly show how the message affects a child. The conclusion is unfinished (“but also”), so your overall judgement is not fully stated. The response also falls 25 words short of the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your points. Develop each example clearly and complete the conclusion by summarising both the benefit and the drawback.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and an attempted conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the contrast between the two main ideas. However, progression within the body paragraphs is uneven: the first example about teachers and parents is unclear, and the football example does not connect its details clearly to the claim about unrealistic expectations. Some linking phrases, such as “In addition” and “In reality,” are used, but the relationships between ideas are not always explicit. The final sentence stops before completing the contrast, weakening the overall ending. Make each paragraph follow a clear claim–explanation–example sequence and use references that make the links between sentences unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivated,” “unrealistic expectations,” “financial condition,” and “achieve their goals.” There is also some attempt to vary expression, for example using “accomplish” as well as “achieve.” However, several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “determinant,” “instace,” “servey,” “ablility,” and “demovate.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “regarding to the grades” and “good numbers” for a football team. These choices sometimes make the examples harder to understand. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning natural collocations, especially for describing motivation, academic results, and access to resources.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a concession in the introduction (“Although this belief can help…”) and a relative clause in the second body paragraph (“which can demovate them”). However, errors occur frequently and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include the agreement error “parents … has,” the plural possessive “childrens’ mind,” and the incomplete final sentence, “but also.” There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, such as the run-together “lives.For” and inconsistent capitalisation after full stops. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, possessives, and complete sentence structure. A final proofreading pass should also ensure that every sentence has a clear ending and that punctuation separates ideas correctly.

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