Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many traditions, youngsters are frequently advised that they can accomplish anything if they word harder. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages, before exploring the reasons behind this disadvantages arguably outweigh the advantages. Teenagers can motivated to work harder in any field of life without thinking about financial condition, health conditions and opportunities.

The one of main reason is that youngsters can stay motivated to work harder in studies. It will help them achieving good grades at either school or college later, they consistently receiving praise from their teachers other students also desire to have teacher is praise. Therefore, they started focusing on their studies and try harder to accomplish their goals. it will help them in the future for becoming a consistent employ in a company.

The first disadvantage is that they work harder without thinking about their financial conditions maybe their parents can not afford the expenses on his or her study but still managing somehow. Another major reason is the opportunities sometimes it matter much more than anything else, although the health conditions are important, but after working harder for a certain goal but unable to accomplish. It can breakdown the child is heart as a result it can cause detrimental consequences on that child is brain.

To conclude, teenagers are advised to work hard for accomplish better career opportunities. Child work harder without thinking about either financial or health conditions. As a result, if the child failed to accomplish the certain goal than he or his may become a prey of depression.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the disadvantages may outweigh the advantages. The benefit of motivation is illustrated through studying and achieving good grades, while the drawbacks include financial pressure, health concerns and disappointment when goals are not reached. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the advantage is mainly limited to academic effort, and the disadvantages are listed more than explained. For example, the link between working hard and becoming “a consistent employ” is not clearly established, and the possible effects on a child’s mental health need fuller explanation. Develop each point with a specific example and explain how it follows from the message children receive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can identify the intended contrast between benefits and drawbacks. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and several linking expressions feel mechanical or do not show the relationship accurately. The first body paragraph moves from grades to praise and then employment without clearly connecting these outcomes. In the disadvantage paragraph, financial circumstances, opportunities and health are combined without a clear sequence. The conclusion repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. Organise each paragraph around one main idea, then use clear explanation and examples to develop it; check that connectors such as “therefore” express the intended logic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “accomplish,” “opportunities,” “financial conditions” and “detrimental consequences.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to understand. For instance, “word harder” appears to be an incorrect form of “work harder,” “breakdown the child is heart” is not a natural expression, and “a prey of depression” does not convey the intended meaning idiomatically. Repetition of “work harder” and “conditions” also limits precision. Build a bank of natural phrases for motivation, setbacks and wellbeing, and check collocations and possessive forms when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if the child failed to accomplish the certain goal,” but control is inconsistent. Frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction can make some sentences hard to follow. Examples include “Teenagers can motivated,” “It will help them achieving,” and “they consistently receiving praise.” There are also unclear or incomplete constructions, such as “they started focusing on their studies and try harder,” where the verb forms do not match. Practise forming complete clauses and keeping verb forms consistent, especially after modal verbs and in conditional sentences. Careful proofreading for articles and agreement would also improve clarity.

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