Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, it is a common trend to motivate students that they can get everything in life if they work hard. Although this belief has several drawbacks, I believe its advantages are far more significant.

On the one hand, one serious drawback of this idea is that students suffer from stress because of their high expectations. This is mainly because they work hard to achieve their goals and did not think about the other side. For instance, many students prepare for MDCAT and expected to become doctors, but after results they feel depressed and incompetent for years. Furthermore, it lowers their expectation in life as they had lost their faith in the hard work dur to prior experiences.

On the other hand, those who believe that they can get everything by working hard feel themselves more motivated and focused. This is largely because they if they are fail to get their desired distinctiom, they will get much better position than those who did not try. A good illustration of this is the CSS preparation, where thousands of students appear each year and less than hundred qualify for this post. But those how are not allocated mostly get higher rank jobs in other departments. Moreover, it is not the case that you will get fail most of the people who work hard get success in their lives.

In conclusoon, although the drawbacks are not easy to neglect, I believe benefits are more benificial. So I assert that students should be kept motivated by highlighting the importance of harf work to win everything in life,\.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and state a clear position: the benefits are “far more significant.” The two body paragraphs each develop a relevant main point, using exam preparation to illustrate both disappointment and alternative career outcomes. This gives the response a solid, task-focused foundation. However, the disadvantage is explained mainly through stress and loss of confidence, while the advantage paragraph’s claim that hard work leads to success is broad and not fully qualified. The examples are relevant, but the link between them and the general message to children could be made more explicit. To strengthen the response, explain more fully how this belief affects children’s expectations and resilience, and acknowledge that effort cannot guarantee every outcome.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from one side of the issue to the other is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some connections, however, are mechanical or unclear. For example, “This is largely because they if they are fail” disrupts the explanation, and “Moreover, it is not the case that you will get fail” does not connect smoothly to the preceding example. The conclusion repeats the position but adds little synthesis. Use clearer links between each example and its main point, and vary transitions so the argument flows more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “high expectations,” “motivated,” “focused,” and “depressed.” There are also attempts at more specific language through references to exam preparation and career outcomes. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the reader pause, as in “distinctiom,” “benificial,” “harf work,” and “how are not allocated.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “get everything in life” and “feel themselves more motivated.” These issues limit the precision and flexibility of the vocabulary. Proofread carefully and learn common collocations for discussing effort, achievement, and setbacks; this will make your ideas sound more natural and exact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because,” and “where.” This allows you to express reasons and contrast, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, sentence construction, and agreement occur in several places. For example, “they work hard … and did not think” shifts tense, while “they if they are fail” has an incorrect clause structure and verb form. “Less than hundred qualify” also needs an article, and the final sentence contains faulty punctuation. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise building accurate complex sentences and check each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and complete clause.

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