Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children are often encouraged to try their best as they can achieve whatever they want in some cultures. This may have some advantages and disadvantages.

Firstly, when a child is told that they would achieve anything when they try hard, it inspires them to confront and tackle any challenges they may face for example, a child who has not been performing well in the exam can take up the courage to study hard and definitely may perform well if they do not relent.

Secondly, It also removes the spirit of fear in them, children naturally are afraid of the unknown and it will take only an encouraging word from an adult to help address those fears and let them know that fears can be conquered when they give in their best. However, letting a child know they can achieve anything if they try hard comes with some negative effects like having them engage with bad influences in a bid to get that which they intend to get for example, a child may decide to join an armed robbery gang just to get quick money which will in turn have a negative effect on the society.

In conclusion, I think telling children that whatever they want can be achieved when they work hard has both positive and negative sides but i think the advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The examples about a struggling student and a child seeking quick money are relevant, but the first benefit is developed more clearly than the second, and the disadvantage is represented by only one scenario. The claim that encouragement removes fear is also asserted rather than explained in detail. The response is 218 words, so it is 32 words below the 250-word minimum; the eight words copied from the prompt are not counted. This limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. Develop each side with a fuller explanation and a specific, realistic example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits and a drawback, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main direction. However, the second body paragraph combines two advantages with a disadvantage, so the shift in focus is abrupt and the paragraph’s central purpose is less clear. The first example also runs on after “for example,” making the relationship between the point and its illustration harder to follow. Use separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and connect each explanation and example more smoothly. This would make the progression clearer and reduce reliance on formulaic signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “confront and tackle,” “spirit of fear,” “encouraging,” and “negative effect.” These choices generally communicate your meaning, and the examples are understandable. Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, however: “take up the courage” and “give in their best” do not express the intended ideas idiomatically, while “bad influences” is broad for the serious example that follows. Repetition of “achieve,” “child,” and “hard” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary key terms—for example, describe building resilience or pursuing goals, and specify harmful peer groups or criminal activity where relevant.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses (“if they try hard”) and a relative clause (“which will in turn have a negative effect”). Most of the meaning remains clear, but some sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention. The first body sentence is very long and joins several ideas without clear separation; the sentence beginning “Secondly” also runs from the point about fear into the contrasting drawback. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “It” and “i,” and the conclusion would be clearer with a properly punctuated sentence structure. Break long sentences into manageable units, check capital letters, and use commas or full stops to show how examples relate to the main point.

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