Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many traditions, kids are often told that they can get anything if they try to work hard they can achieve their aim .This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of giving message to the youngsters.

There are many advantages but the main benefit of this message is the kids want to set an aim and then they would study harder and harder then they will achieve their aim ,then they became successful in life. The person which has aim then he get his aim by working hard. This also build a confidence level and they study harder to achieve their aim. Second ,advantage of this message is that children can get good marks and scholarships by hardworking and they should get a full fee concession.

There are also many disadvantages the main dis-benefit of this message children should want to study those subjects which they have no interest and they cannot obtain good marks .Second, the kids do not achieve their aim because they don't have the ability to achieve their aim and their confidence loses. The relentless pressure to succeed can overwhelm young minds, leading to chronic stress, exhaustion, and they should be afraid then anxiety should be appears in their brains.

In conclusion, the advantages of this message they can achieve their aim and get successful in life and got good marks in their exams and their confidence level become higher. The disadvantages of not to get successful in life get many problems they should face anxiety, stress and exhaustion.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give relevant consequences: hard work may encourage children to set goals, study, and gain confidence, while unrealistic expectations may lead to pressure, anxiety, and disappointment. However, the discussion is only partly developed. For example, the point about scholarships and fee concessions is introduced without explaining how the message leads to these outcomes, and the disadvantages are not clearly distinguished between lack of ability, lack of interest, and pressure. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not clarify when this message is helpful or harmful. To strengthen the response, explain each main idea with a specific example and make your overall view of the message clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “There are many advantages” and “There are also many disadvantages” helps readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: several points are joined by repeated “then” or “and,” and the advantages paragraph circles back to goal-setting and studying rather than developing a clear sequence. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the shift from good marks to scholarships and fee concessions. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s focus, then explain and illustrate one idea at a time. More precise linking and clearer references would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “aim,” “confidence,” “scholarships,” “pressure,” “stress,” and “anxiety.” There is also an attempt at more specific language in “relentless pressure to succeed.” However, the range is limited by frequent repetition of “aim,” “achieve,” and “hard,” and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “dis-benefit,” “confidence loses,” and “anxiety should be appears.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Build a wider set of natural collocations for goals, effort, and emotional effects, and check whether each phrase fits its context. The vocabulary suggestions below offer practical alternatives drawn from your response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a relative clause in “The person which has aim” and a complex idea about pressure leading to stress. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation often make the writing difficult to read. For example, “they can get anything if they try to work hard they can achieve their aim” joins clauses without correct punctuation, while “their confidence loses” and “anxiety should be appears” have faulty verb forms. Many sentences also rely on repeated “and” or “then” rather than varied, controlled structures. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas using accurate clauses and conjunctions.

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