Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Being a confident is extremely crucial for the children in this time because nowadays competition so that all the parents and teacher learn and told to children that they can achieve anything if they try hard ample. In my estimation that is merit for the children because they not only attain knowledge about all thing, but also get part in ever competition.

One of the significant advantages is that student and children are become more confident and they also get part in ever competition. This is because, they have a knowledge about everything and also they have confident that they can do it. For instant, in China, many school give knowledge to their student how to overcome fear through practical knowledge. Consequently, they in the future they became extremely hard working and achieve everything that they want in their life.

However, this give profound issue in their life some student are take competition seriously and also some time they harm other children. For example, many student who are very scorer they want to compete every task and some time success is not only dependent on hard work but also dependent on opportunities so that time many student keep expectation and if they do not achieve their aim, they will attempt wrong stapes. Therefore, significant number of the student loss their life in many country.

In conclusion, being hard working is most vital for the student due to this they can success in their life in the future and also make their life easy but some time success is dependent on the opportunities and luck. However, I believe that if children do their work dadicatlly they can get everything in their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages, and your position is generally positive: you describe confidence and participation as benefits, then warn that intense competition and unmet expectations can harm children. The examples about Chinese schools and students reacting to failure are relevant, but they are broad and not clearly explained. The response also shifts from the specific message that effort can lead to achievement toward hard work and competition more generally. The disadvantage is especially unclear where you say students may “attempt wrong stapes” and “loss their life”; explain the possible consequences more precisely and avoid unsupported claims. Develop both sides with clearer reasoning and a more balanced conclusion that directly answers the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. “However” helps signal the change in viewpoint, and examples are placed within the relevant paragraphs. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first paragraph moves quickly from confidence to knowledge and competition, while the disadvantage paragraph combines competition, opportunity, expectations, and serious harm without showing each link clearly. Connectors such as “because,” “Consequently,” and “Therefore” are repeated or do not always express a clear relationship. Use topic sentences that state one main point, then explain and illustrate it in sequence; make references such as “they” and “this” more specific.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “confident,” “overcome fear,” “competition,” “opportunities,” and “expectation.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “significant advantages” and “profound issue.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, including “get part in ever competition,” “very scorer,” and “wrong stapes.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “dాడicatlly” (intended as “dedicatedly”) also reduce precision. Choose common, accurate expressions before attempting more elaborate wording: for example, say that children “take part in competitions” and may “feel disappointed when they fail.” Check spelling and whether nouns, verbs, and adjectives fit the sentence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “so that,” and “if,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For instance, “student and children are become more confident” has incorrect agreement and verb form, while “many school give knowledge to their student” has errors in number and agreement. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “Consequently, they in the future they became” repeats the subject and uses an inconsistent tense. Practise building accurate short sentences first, then combine them with one subordinate clause; check subject–verb agreement and tense consistency.

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