Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures, parents and teachers encourage children to believe that they can achieve their goals through hard work. This message can motivate children to success in life , although it may create unrealistic expectations. This essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of this message.

One major advantage of this message is that it develops confidence among children. When children believe that their effort can lead to success they learn from their mistakes and they did not give up and they are more likely to face challenges. For instance, a student who struggles in mathematics may continue practising. As a result, children can develop a positive attitude and become more independent in the future and achieve everything that they want in life.

However, there are some disadvantages to this approach. The main problem is that children may develop unrealistic expectations about their abilities. In reality, success depends not only on hard work but also luck, available resources and individual's skill. If children fail to achieve their goals doing hard work and enough efforts, they feel that they are not good enough. To exemplify, sometimes the student work enough to achieve their goals yet they did not success. Therefore they feel anxiety and depression and sometime they attempt to suicide.

In recapitulation, this message passes through several pros and cons. parents should also explain that failures is a normal part of life and that success cannot always be guaranteed. In my estimation, if you work hard, you will get succeed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view: hard work can build confidence, while the message may create unrealistic expectations. The mathematics example supports the advantage, and the discussion of failure and emotional consequences is relevant. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The benefit of becoming “more independent” is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the disadvantage moves quickly from unmet goals to anxiety, depression, and suicide without explaining how this outcome might arise or how common it is. The conclusion also weakens the balanced discussion by ending with “if you work hard, you will get succeed,” which sounds like a guarantee. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and keep the final position consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “One major advantage,” “However,” and “In recapitulation” makes the direction of the discussion easy to follow. Within sentences, though, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The advantage paragraph strings together several effects with “and,” while “If children fail to achieve their goals doing hard work and enough efforts, they feel…” does not clearly express the relationship between effort and failure. The conclusion’s opening, “this message passes through several pros and cons,” is also an awkward summary rather than a precise synthesis. Use clearer links between cause and effect, and make references such as “this message” and “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing the topic, with relevant terms such as “unrealistic expectations,” “available resources,” “challenges,” and “independent.” There is also some attempt to use more formal language, including “In my estimation.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “motivate children to success,” “they did not success,” and “you will get succeed” do not express the intended meaning idiomatically. “In recapitulation” is an unsuitable choice for a conclusion, and “passes through several pros and cons” is unclear. Aim for natural combinations such as “motivate children to succeed,” “achieve their goals,” and “has advantages and disadvantages.” Check word forms and spelling, including “sometimes.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional sentence beginning “If children fail…” and a relative clause in “a student who struggles in mathematics.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. In “they learn from their mistakes and they did not give up,” the verb forms are inconsistent; “an individual’s skill” needs an article, and “the student work” has a subject–verb agreement error. The conclusion also contains “failures is” and “you will get succeed,” while punctuation and capitalization are inconsistent, as in “life ,” and the lowercase “parents” after a full stop. Review agreement, articles, tense consistency, and sentence punctuation, while continuing to use varied structures.

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