Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children are reminded that they have the ability of achieve anything if they attempt strongly, in some traditions.While this message has advantages such as positive attitude and increased focus,it also comes alongs with drawbacks which cannot be ignored.

One of the major benefit of this message is development of positive attitude. Children are always motivated to work more , thinking that their hard work will eventually pay-off. For instance, students tend to focus only on studying and stay motivated throughout the process, while thinking that the desired result is definite. Another benefit is that it increases focus. As motivated students, they avoid distractions and follow discipline to achieve their goals.For example, with the message in mind, students focus more on the path and work hard to ensure they reach the destination.This increases a healthy competition among the students.

In contrast,the message can have several consequences.Firstly, it will impact the health of children. With the message in their mind, they might exhaust themselves mentally and physically to attract achievement.For instance, a child is likley to sleep less to study more, which can cause insomnia problem.Secondly, they may avoid socialization. By spending more time trying hard , children can avoid interactions which can affect their public speaking skills.Lastly, they can develop stress and anxiety due to fear of failure. For example, two children may try their best to get the first position in a competition but only one can win it, it creates fear in the child's mind. The message is not always right, some times even hard work does not lead to achievements.

In conlcusion, the message has benefits as well as disadvantages. The message encourages young generation to follow discipline and be in high spirits. However, the message creates a fear of failure among the children,affects the health and makes children avoidant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can motivate children, but may also harm their wellbeing. Relevant examples, such as students concentrating on study and a child sleeping less, help explain your points. This meets the task well, and the discussion shows some development beyond simply listing ideas. However, several points are asserted more than explored. For instance, “healthy competition” is introduced without explaining when it is beneficial, while the effects on socialisation and public speaking receive limited support. The claim that hard work does not always lead to achievement is important, but it appears only at the end of the disadvantages paragraph. Develop this qualification more fully and explain how children might be taught to balance effort with realistic expectations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two main body paragraphs is easy to follow, and signposts such as “For instance,” “In contrast,” and “Lastly” help readers identify the stages of the discussion. This gives the essay coherent progression. At times, however, the linking is mechanical because several points follow the same numbered pattern, and some connections between ideas are not fully explained. For example, the move from avoiding social interaction to weaker public-speaking skills is plausible but could be made more explicit. The conclusion repeats the main points rather than synthesising them. Use a wider range of transitions and clearer references to connect examples to the claims they support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “positive attitude,” “distractions,” “socialization,” “stress and anxiety,” and “fear of failure.” Some choices show an attempt to express more specific concepts, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, inaccurate word forms and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the writing sound unnatural. Examples include “ability of achieve,” “attempt strongly,” “comes alongs with,” “attract achievement,” and “insomnia problem.” Spelling slips such as “likley” and “conlcusion” also reduce accuracy. To improve, learn common word partnerships and check whether a noun, verb, or adjective is needed in each phrase. More precise alternatives would make your discussion clearer and more natural without requiring unnecessarily advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “which,” and “that,” and most of your meaning remains clear. The essay also uses examples and cause-and-effect structures, such as “which can cause…” and “due to fear of failure.” However, some grammatical errors recur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation. For example, “One of the major benefit” needs plural agreement, and “it creates fear in the child's mind” does not clearly match the plural subject “two children.” The sentence “The message is not always right, some times even hard work…” joins two independent ideas with a comma. Review agreement and sentence boundaries, and proofread spacing after punctuation. Greater accuracy in these areas would strengthen the range you already attempt.

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