Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures people believe and speak to their children about hardwork. If they do hardwork they can achieve anything they wanted. This opinion has some advantages and disadvantages which is discus below.

To begin with, it is important for the children to do hardwork to achieve their goals. Children become more dependent on themselves and they will become more hardworking. Hardwork is the main step in achiving goals without hardwork no one will be able to achieve there dreams. For example; if a child want to become a doctor in the future they can think to themselves about trying and studing hard enough for exams to turn the result good. This idea will be the motivation for the child to achieve their goals. Infact child will be more mature and focus in his life about his achievement.

On the other hand; the disadvantage of this opinion it gives child more pressure and it effect there studies. The pressure of giving best effect their health and studies and result came in the form of failure. Parents often believe that if they start guiding and motivating their children from a young age and tell them they can achieve anyting if they do hardwork. They think they are motivating their child but this believe result in pressure on their child to persue specific careers.

To conclude, every child has their own unique abilities. Parents should motivate them without imposing their own wishes. Child will be more courage and confident in his life. Child doing hardwork are more depend on themselves also they are more more ambicious in their life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall view: hard work can motivate children, while parental expectations may create pressure and push them towards particular careers. The doctor example helps illustrate how effort might support a goal. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that children become “more dependent on themselves” is not clearly connected to the message, and the disadvantage paragraph could explain more specifically how pressure harms wellbeing or learning. Your conclusion introduces children’s “unique abilities” and advises parents not to impose wishes, but this position could be stated more clearly earlier and linked more directly to the discussion. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation and a specific consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement, with an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a contrasting paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” make the direction of the essay easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. The advantage paragraph moves from independence to hard work, then to the doctor example and maturity without always showing how one point leads to the next. In the disadvantage paragraph, “The pressure of giving best effect their health” is difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; also avoid relying on the same basic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivation,” “pressure,” “specific careers,” and “unique abilities.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “hardwork,” “achieve,” and “child.” Some choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “result came in the form of failure,” “giving best effect,” and “more more ambitious.” Spelling errors, including “achiving,” “studing,” and “anyting,” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of natural expressions for effort, expectations, and outcomes, and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make your ideas easier to understand without changing their meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional ideas such as “if a child want to become a doctor” and a longer sentence about parents motivating children. The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, tense, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “a child want” needs subject–verb agreement, while “it gives child more pressure” is missing an article and has an unclear structure. The opening also shifts between “can achieve” and “wanted,” and the final sentences contain agreement problems. Some punctuation choices, such as semicolons after “For example” and “On the other hand,” are not appropriate. Practise accurate complex sentences and proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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