Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are taught that they can accomplish anything if they work harder, In some traditions. Children if they work hard will be successfull later in life. However, they might feel burnt out and tired if they are hard on themselves while they are young.

Major Advantage of working hard in early part of their lives is that they will have a strong base to work on and be mentally prepared for future hardships or challenges they might face. There is strong evidence in the world to support this that working hard when young is fruit full when you are older and in the practical phase of life. Best example of this is one of the greatest footballers in history Cristiano Ronaldo he worked hard when he joined Manchester United he worked harder than anybody in the team and we can see now that he has achieved everything in his footballing career.

However, there are also some disadvantages to this most significant one is that children working very hard can lead them to feel frustrated and exhausted. Because, things don't always work out and they might face some failures even after working hard which can lead them to frustration and feeling drained mentally. When I was young I experienced similar situation, In 4th standard I studied very hard but on result day I saw that I failed in one subject which was Mathematics.

To conclude, working hard has both advantages and disadvantages for children. Working hard in early part of life is rewarding. However, it can also introduce some obstacles for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to success. The advantage is illustrated through Cristiano Ronaldo, while the personal example of failing mathematics supports the point that effort does not guarantee results and may cause frustration. These examples make the discussion accessible, but the ideas are not equally developed: the benefits are explained in broad terms, and the essay does not explore how the message might motivate children or create unrealistic expectations. The conclusion restates the two sides without adding a clear judgement about the overall value of giving children this message. Develop each point further and connect the examples explicitly to the message children receive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “However” helps signal the shift between the two sides, and the examples are placed in relevant paragraphs. Some connections are mechanical or unclear, though. For instance, “There is strong evidence in the world to support this” is followed by a single example rather than specific evidence, and “Because” begins a sentence fragment after the disadvantage is introduced. The opening sentence also has an awkwardly placed phrase, “In some traditions.” Use clearer links between claims and examples, and make sure each paragraph develops one main idea in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing effort, achievement and emotional effects, with relevant terms such as “future hardships,” “frustrated,” “exhausted” and “mentally drained.” There are also attempts at more specific language, including “practical phase of life” and “footballing career,” though some expressions are unnatural or imprecise. “Fruit full” is incorrectly written as two words, and “strong base to work on” is an awkward collocation; “foundation” would be more natural. Repetition of “work hard” and “working hard” limits flexibility, while “things” is vague in the discussion of failure. Aim for more precise paraphrasing and check spelling and collocations so that your meaning sounds natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response uses both simple sentences and some attempts at longer structures, such as “Because, things don't always work out and they might face some failures even after working hard.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors and punctuation problems remain. The opening contains a comma splice and an incorrectly separated phrase: “Children are taught that they can accomplish anything if they work harder, In some traditions.” The sentence “Children if they work hard will be successfull later in life” has faulty word order and an incorrect form of “successful.” Other issues include the fragment beginning “Because” and missing commas around introductory clauses, as in “When I was young I experienced…” Practise joining clauses accurately and proofreading sentence boundaries.

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