Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some cultures, children are often advised that they can achieve all they want, given they try hard enough. There are several notable advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to the children. The benefits are that this message will give them hope and it will motivate them to work hard in life. The drawbacks are that this message is setting unrealistic expectations for the future and it might lead to them being burned out.

When children are told that they can achieve anything in life if they try hard enough, this message will motivate them to work hard in life. They will feel more ambitious and would put effort in whatever task they are performing, such as doing homework or preparing for a test. Furthermore, this message would also give them hope for a better future. They will have faith that hard work does not go to waste and that their future can be better than the present if they put effort into it. They will become hopeful and will think about the future positively.

However, this message can also set unrealistic expectations for the future as well. The world isn't black and white and everything can not be attained through hard work. There are multiple factors that contribute to achieving a goal not just hard work. Therefore, children will be depressed and heart broken if things don't turn out even if they work hard for it. Moreover, this advice is also glamourising burn out. Children should be taught to maintain a healthy lifestyle not to over work themselves or compromise their health. Physical and mental health should be the utmost priority.

In conclusion, children are often advised that they can achieve everything in life through hard work, this message has some benefits as well as drawbacks. The benefits are that it will make children hopeful and will motivate them to work hard but it is also setting unrealistic expectations for the future and is promoting burn out.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear, relevant position: the message can encourage effort and hope, but may create unrealistic expectations and encourage overwork. The examples of homework and test preparation help illustrate motivation, while the discussion of factors beyond effort shows awareness of the issue’s complexity. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the link between unrealistic expectations and children becoming “depressed and heart broken” would be stronger with a more specific explanation or example. The point about hope also repeats the idea of a better future without extending it much. To strengthen the response, develop each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and distinguish more precisely between encouraging perseverance and promising that effort guarantees success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction previews both sides, separate body paragraphs discuss advantages and disadvantages, and the conclusion restates the main position. The progression within each paragraph is generally logical, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “However,” and “Moreover” help guide the reader. This organisation makes the argument easy to follow. Some connections are nevertheless repetitive or mechanical: the introduction and conclusion list almost identical benefits and drawbacks, and “this message” is repeated frequently. The opening sentence of the conclusion also joins two independent ideas with a comma. For a more flexible and polished flow, vary referencing and use the conclusion to synthesise the discussion rather than repeat the outline.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for discussing the topic, and phrases such as “unrealistic expectations,” “maintain a healthy lifestyle,” and “physical and mental health” communicate relevant ideas clearly. You also attempt more specific language, including “ambitious” and “compromise their health.” However, the range is somewhat repetitive, especially in repeated uses of “message,” “hard work,” and “future,” and a few choices are imprecise or unnatural. “Glamourising burn out” does not express the intended criticism clearly, while “heart broken” is not the most natural form in this context. Aim for more precise collocations and a wider range of terms for effort, outcomes, and emotional effects. This would add flexibility without making the writing sound forced.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional clauses such as “if they try hard enough” and subordinate clauses explaining consequences. Most sentences are understandable, and errors do not prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical and punctuation problems remain. In the introduction, “The drawbacks are that this message is setting…” is awkwardly formed; “may set” would fit the general claim more naturally. In “children are often advised …, this message has,” a comma joins two independent clauses and should be replaced with a full stop or semicolon. There are also errors in “everything can not be attained” and “over work themselves.” Review negative forms, compound constructions, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to use varied clause structures.

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