Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in the contemporary era, giving advises for the sake of success to their chilsren have become very essential amung numerious cultures. however, it is firmly beleived that they should asked to their young-ones if they want to achive anything they have to work very hard. although this way of guidence leads to fewer drawbacks, it also have many advantages which can overlep its disadvantages, so it shows positive results on them.

to begin with, all the parents want to see their children in the successfull position, so they teach them to work hard to achieve their desire. as a result, they work by their heart and try their best for obtain their goals. due to this, they become ambitious, and they also realise the values of achivements. for instance, a student get the only marks for which he work hard. therefore, it is eexcellent stratigy to succeed.

on contrast, when we work very hard to get a thing, it also have some negative impacts on our mental health. to explain it, if we try hard and hard and can not get our desire, we have to made wrong way to obtaint. for instance, when the student fails even he try their best, as result he lose his hope and he stop hard working. consequently, it aso have many detrimantal impacts on our mind.

in a nutshell, eventhough its drawbacks are considerable, it also results in numerious pitfalls which can lead us to achieve our dreams. nevertheless, have not to stop it, if fails to get it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a broadly positive view, especially in the opening and conclusion. The advantage that effort can make children ambitious and help them value achievement is relevant, and the student example begins to illustrate it. However, the discussion is limited and under-developed: the disadvantage paragraph shifts from disappointment and loss of hope to “made wrong way” without explaining what this means or how the message causes it. The conclusion is also unclear, saying both that drawbacks are considerable and that the message leads to achieving dreams, before ending with an incomplete recommendation. Develop each side with a clear explanation and a specific, plausible example, and state your overall position consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “to begin with,” “on contrast” and “in a nutshell” help identify the intended stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and the conclusion does not clearly resolve the discussion. For example, the link between failing despite hard work and taking a “wrong way” is not explained, while “nevertheless, have not to stop it” leaves the reader unsure what “it” refers to. Some connectors are also used mechanically or inaccurately. Build a clearer sequence of claim, explanation and example in each paragraph, use pronouns with unmistakable references, and make the final position follow logically from the points discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “ambitious,” “achievements,” “mental health” and “detrimental impacts,” and these choices show an effort to express more than basic ideas. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “chilsren,” “amung,” “overlep” and “obtaint.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “work by their heart” and “successfull position.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than using ambitious wording without control. Proofread spelling carefully and learn topic phrases such as “make an effort,” “cope with setbacks” and “achieve their goals”; these would help express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “although,” “when” and “if,” so there is some variety. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “giving advises … have become” has problems with the subject and verb, while “they should asked” and “a student get … for which he work hard” show errors in verb forms and agreement. The final sentence, “nevertheless, have not to stop it, if fails to get it,” is incomplete and unclear. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a correctly formed subordinate clause, then check subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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