Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some traditions and cultures where children are being taught that they are capable enough to achieve anything under this blue sky, if he keep trying more than enough. There are certain advantages as well as some disadvantages to this notion of working hard in order to conquer something.

Demerits of children being taught to achieve anything through hardwork is that they may gradually become forgetful of cherishing the wonderful days of their life. To exemplify, a 12th grader in India being forced to take NEET coaching, might work hard enough to achieve an acceptable percentile to get into a govertment medical college, but would start to loose the essence of his/her own life by just isolating himself from his immediate surroundings of friends family, focusing only on his/her studies. Moreover, there is higher risk of children feeling themselves inferior by making comparisons to his fellow achievers, if they couldn't achieve something in one go.

Advantages of such a notion includes the empowerment of determination among children to achieve their goals. On elaboration, if children are educated to work enough to succeed their task, the discipline of putting all the efforts grows as they age and becomes more of a routine than a forced action. Moulding children into beings capable of handling adverse situations in life is also another merit of this message.

In conclusion, there are several merits and demerits of children being eduacted to try in depth to succeed in tasks. Only finding a balance between these adverse effects and supporting factors, and maintaining an equilibrium would help ease the conditions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to achievement. The NEET coaching example gives a concrete illustration of how intense pressure may affect a child’s relationships and enjoyment of life, while the discussion of discipline and coping with adversity identifies plausible benefits. However, some points are more fully explained than others: the disadvantage of comparing oneself with successful peers is mentioned briefly, and the final reference to “finding a balance” does not explain what that balance would involve. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation of its consequences, and make the conclusion directly summarise the trade-off.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, one on advantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Moreover,” “On elaboration,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the shift between points. The example is also placed appropriately within the disadvantages paragraph. At times, however, connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, and the conclusion repeats the idea of balancing effects without specifying how it follows from the discussion. Some references, such as “his fellow achievers,” are not fully clear in context. Use more direct topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “determination,” “discipline,” “isolating,” and “adverse situations.” These choices help communicate both sides of the issue, and the NEET example adds specificity. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “under this blue sky,” “conquer something,” “succeed their task,” and “try in depth.” Spelling errors, including “govertment,” “loose” where “lose” is intended, and “eduacted,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully; precise, familiar expressions are more effective than unusual wording that does not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if they couldn't achieve something in one go” and a longer example introduced by “To exemplify.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For instance, “if he keep trying” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “A 12th grader … might work … but would start” shifts awkwardly between a singular student and “himself” later in the sentence. There are also problems with plural agreement in “Advantages … includes” and with sentence construction in the opening. Review agreement, pronoun consistency, and sentence boundaries, then simplify sentences that become difficult to control.

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