Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

in few culture, children who tries hard enough can successfull to achieve anything. The advantages are , they can motivated to do lots of work and take their career goals seriously. while this message has also demerits for children, such as choosing the wrong way and show disrespectfull behaviour. This will discuss the merits and demerits of this message below.

First advantage is that, they become motivated all time to do such havy or complex work.

when they try lots of work , there will be some mistake happen and doing again and again they will success in this particular task. Furthurmore, By this message, children set their career goal easily and they will never feel disappointed in their life. As a result, they can easily achieve their goals by trring enough.For example, a student read in class 4 and he try to pass the exam but he failed 3 times. After that, their parents told him that if you tried hard you will definitely pass the examination and it worked.

On the other hand , it has several demerits such as they can choose wrong path for their believeness. And they can suffer this problem rest of their life. Moreover, they knew that they can do whatever he want and can achieve easily, thats why they will behave disrespectfully infront of people. They are in learning stage so disreapectfull behaviour can harm for our society. For instance, a few children in india has a disrespectfull behaviour when he or she know that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

To sum up, this message has advantages like motivation for doing work and set career goals , while it has some disadvantages such a s they might be choose wrong path and disrespactfull infront of people. So we should spread out this messge very carefully basis on merit and demerits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view that the message can motivate children but may also have negative effects. The motivation point is supported with an example about a student who eventually passes after repeated attempts. However, several ideas remain broad or unclear: “choosing the wrong path” is not explained, and the claim that children may become disrespectful needs a clearer link to being told they can achieve anything through effort. The conclusion repeats the main points but does not add much evaluation of when this message is helpful or harmful. Develop each disadvantage with a specific explanation and make the connection to the message more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “First advantage,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes weak: the shift from motivation to career goals, then to the exam example, feels abrupt, while the disadvantages are joined mainly through repeated “And” and “Moreover.” Some references are also unclear, such as “they can suffer this problem” and “this message.” Use clearer links between cause and effect, and organise each paragraph around one main point followed by explanation and a relevant example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivated,” “career goals,” “disadvantages,” and “disrespectfully.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, word-form, collocation, and spelling errors make the writing less precise, for example “can successfull to achieve,” “believeness,” “havy,” and “disrespactfull.” Repetition of “achieve,” “message,” and “behaviour” also restricts variety. Aim to learn accurate topic phrases and check spelling and word forms; for instance, describe children as “persistent” or “overconfident,” and refer to “poor choices” rather than the unclear “wrong path for their believeness.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if you tried hard you will definitely pass” and a result clause beginning “As a result.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries frequently make the reader work to understand the meaning. Examples include “children who tries,” “they will success,” “there will be some mistake happen,” and “they might be choose.” There are also inconsistent shifts between singular and plural pronouns, as in “they can do whatever he want.” Practise forming complete clauses and checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns before adding more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.