Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Children are told that they are able to accomplish any task if they work hard at it often by some societies. In this essay, I will explain that how it can improve a child's confidence as an advantage, and how they can shift their focus away from their goals as a disadvantage.

Children are very curious and active by nature. This type of message can boost a child's confidence when they start seeing the results. A child associates his/her emotion with something as a reward. In this case, the reward of doing better in studies can significantly boost a child's confidence. For example, if children are able to get better results in their examinations from working hard, they are able to see the improvement firsthand. Thus, it can improve their self belief, and increase overall confidence

However, they can also shift their focus away from their goals and indulge themselves in lesiure activities. Since they could start believing that trying hard enough can make everything achievable, they can get distracted by activities that doesn't bring anything rewarding in the long run. For example, a child might start skipping school lessons and focus on getting better at playing video games. This will have a negative impact in later life as the video game may not bring any achievable rewards for them.

In conclusion, the idea that anything can be achived by trying hard enough have advantages of making children more confident as well as disadvantages of shifting their focus away from their primary goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall position: the message may build confidence, but it may also distract children from their goals. The confidence point is supported with a relevant example about improved examination results. However, the disadvantage is less convincing and needs fuller explanation: the link between believing effort can achieve anything and choosing video games over school is asserted rather than clearly demonstrated. The claim that games may not bring “any achievable rewards” is also broad and does not fully explain the consequences of the message itself. To strengthen the response, develop each point with more precise reasoning and consider the limits of the message, such as the risk of unrealistic expectations when effort alone cannot overcome every obstacle.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the advantage and disadvantage, and a conclusion that restates the main position. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However” and “In conclusion” help the reader understand the direction of the argument. This organisation is effective, though some connections within paragraphs are less clear. For instance, the move from children’s curiosity to associating emotion with reward is abrupt, and “they” in the disadvantage paragraph could refer to children or to the message. The conclusion repeats the introduction rather than drawing the ideas together. Use clearer referencing and add linking explanations between claims so cohesion feels less formulaic and the reasoning develops more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing the topic, and phrases such as “boost a child’s confidence,” “shift their focus,” and “negative impact” communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific wording, including “firsthand” and “primary goals.” However, several choices are imprecise or awkward, such as “associates his/her emotion with something as a reward” and “any achievable rewards,” which make parts of the argument less natural. Spelling errors in “lesiure” and “achived” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and avoid repeating general terms such as “better” and “achievable”; for example, describe improved academic performance or long-term benefits. Proofreading would help ensure that spelling does not distract from otherwise understandable ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses such as “if they work hard at it” and “if children are able to get better results.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. In the introduction, “I will explain that how” should be “I will explain how”; “activities that doesn’t bring” needs subject–verb agreement (“activities that don’t bring”); and the conclusion’s “the idea … have advantages” needs a singular verb (“has”). The sentence “A child associates his/her emotion with something as a reward” also has an unclear grammatical relationship between its parts. Work on agreement, clause construction, and sentence clarity, while continuing to use varied sentence patterns. These corrections would make the argument more controlled without sacrificing complexity.

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