Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some places, older people say to youngers that if you work hard then you can achieve nything you want. There are both benefits and drawbacks for saying like this, the advantages are young people will stay motivated and helps in building self confidence. The disadvantages are they feel so much pressure and not able to enjoy life properly.

The benefits of saying you can achieve anything if you try hard enough are, children stay motivated and helps in increasing self confidence. If children are told that work hard to get anything, this creates a different mindset in children behaviour. For instance, majority of children who follow disipline like performing all the activities or fulfilling the role of son/daughter with good academics with greater amount of knowledge and helping parents with their work will succeed in their lives. Also it helps in children to improve their confidence level to the peaks.

The drawbacks of giving this kind of motivation are, young people feel so much pressure which leads to not enjoying the life. Firstly, children will not listen to elders and they feel like they are under pressure. For instance, old people will assign children to work strictly and follow guidelines to complete the work where young people think that it is a kind of pressure and does not like them. Other reason would be not enjoying life. Where majority of students are compared with others in terms of marks, which leads to decrease in the confidence level and children may not enjoy their life with these comaparisons.

In conclusion, it is better to give motivation for children like if you work hard then you can acheive anything in your life. The advantages are children will stay motivated and it boosts children confidence. The drawbacks are young people feel pressure and not able to enojoy their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message can motivate children, but may also create pressure and reduce enjoyment. These points are relevant, and the examples about academic effort and comparisons with other students help illustrate them. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The benefits paragraph focuses mainly on discipline and success, without explaining when hard work may not be enough or how the message builds confidence. The drawbacks paragraph also shifts from the message itself to elders assigning work and comparing marks, so the link to the prompt is not always clear. Develop each main idea with a more direct explanation and a specific, realistic example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the main points. This makes the argument easy to follow in broad terms. You also use signposts such as “For instance,” “Firstly,” and “In conclusion.” However, some linking is mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence of each body paragraph repeats the same point, and “Other reason would be not enjoying life” does not connect smoothly to the preceding example. Some references are also difficult to follow, such as “them” in “does not like them.” To improve, reduce repeated summaries and use clearer links that show how each example supports the specific advantage or disadvantage.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “motivated,” “self confidence,” “pressure,” and “compared with others.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, which sometimes makes the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “youngers,” “a different mindset in children behaviour,” “confidence level to the peaks,” and “fulfilling the role of son/daughter.” Spelling errors such as “nything,” “disipline,” “comaparisons,” and “acheive” also weaken accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing expectations and outcomes, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, describe children as “young people” and say that confidence “increases” rather than rises “to the peaks.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “if,” “which,” and “where.” This shows an effort to express cause and effect, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “the advantages are young people will stay motivated and helps” has faulty sentence structure and subject–verb agreement; “Where majority of students are compared with others” is a fragment; and “children may not enjoy their life” has a number-agreement problem. There are also awkward constructions such as “There are both benefits and drawbacks for saying like this.” Practise forming complete sentences, checking that subjects and verbs agree, and using articles and plural forms consistently. Clearer sentence patterns will make your ideas easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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