Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the contemporary world, children of the some cultures are describe that they can achieve anything if they work hard. Nowadays generation have this habit tohat they will sucessful in any cost and work hard. This essay will provides the message about that it was wrong are right.

On the one hand, there are several advantages to decide work hard and achieve their goal. However, it will enhance the development of the children ideas and makes them more hardworking. For example, if a children who want to achieve his goal he focus on their study and wrok hard for their goal and at end he become a sucessful. This ability make children more confident and access to have to do anything through hardworking. Inadditions some who are not well educated they also only focus to find out his skills and work hard and he can also got a job and achieve their goal that what he do. Children make feel more happy after their achievement.

On the other hand, there are several advantages of to do anything at any cost. First it makes children greedy and competative about their goal. For instance, children who particapte in the sport activity and his goal to only win this game at any cost, however he want to harm other childrens who are particapated with him and he does not to lose and he can do anything for his achievment. Furthermore, some students have this ability who compare themselves to others and feel jealous that why they are in high ranked.

In conclusion, In this essay children can achieve anything when they decide to work hard. But children should be achieve their goals in a postive way. They should choose only right things and avoid to compare yourselve to others because its makes children more greedy or makes low confident to acheiving their goals. They should only focus their goals and become a sucessful person in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant example for each: hard work can help a child reach a goal, while an excessive focus on winning may lead to harming competitors. Your conclusion also offers a clear recommendation to pursue goals positively. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The advantages are mostly asserted—for example, that children become confident or find work—without explaining how the message helps them cope with setbacks or what limits should accompany it. The disadvantage paragraph also shifts from the message of “anything” being achievable to competitiveness and jealousy, without fully explaining that connection. Develop each point with clearer reasoning and keep the distinction between effort and success at any cost explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the main stages. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: several claims are added one after another, such as confidence, employment, and happiness, without clear links or explanation. Some transitions are also awkward or repetitive, and the opening does not clearly establish the essay’s position. References such as “this ability” and “that what he do” make it harder to follow exactly which idea is being discussed. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “hardworking,” “confident,” “jealous,” and “achievement,” and you attempt to express ideas about goals and competition. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “goal,” “work hard,” and “achieve.” There are also frequent spelling and word-choice problems, such as “sucessful,” “competative,” “particapte,” and “at any cost,” which reduce clarity and control. Some combinations are unnatural, including “enhance the development of the children ideas” and “makes low confident.” Build a more precise set of topic expressions and check spelling and collocations; this will help you express the same ideas more naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional and relative-clause forms, as in “if a children who want to achieve his goal…” This shows an effort to vary sentence structure, but the longer constructions are often faulty, and many sentences contain errors that make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “children are describe,” “Nowadays generation have,” and “he can also got a job,” which show problems with verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. Articles, plurals, and pronouns are also inconsistent, as in “a children” and “their study.” Focus first on building accurate simple sentences, then add subordinate clauses while checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and punctuation.

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