Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often told our elders that we youngsters can achieve anything if we try hard enough. It is viable to achieve success in every way of life and our parents and olders give advice about how hard it is to be the person we want to be in the future ahead.

There is a sense of every individuals that everything what we want to do in our life is achieveable. We have clear example of our parents for this statement. Some parents were able to succeed in what they wanted to achieve and some were unable and are still suffering problems in terms of their daily life.

We childrens are told that we can achieve everything if we try hard enough and in some points, I believe this is a true words contended by our elders. Giving advises and encouraging lead us to think about harships that we youngsters will face in the race of success. There are advantages of giving this message to children in many ways. Like, it will help this contemporary generations to know about the importance of success that some of the elders lacked in their time which took them towards darkness in their life.

Often people think that giving message about continuous trying will make their children more aware about their future but not every individual thinking is same as others. Some of them may take this advice as burden in their life because if elders keeps telling and discussing about this particular topic, it can divert their childrens mentality in terms of sucess and burden.

In my point of view, we childrens should be told be told about the improtance of success and achievemnets. Definately that day will come when we youngsters will achieve success in our lives but shouldn't be told and giving it as s burden of our life.

Every childrens and elders have the mentality of achieving success and it is prevalent and taken as the culture to give message to childrens about we can achieve anything if we try hard enough.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the benefits and drawbacks of telling children they can achieve anything through effort, and your view is that encouragement is useful but should not become a burden. The paragraph beginning “There are advantages” identifies motivation and awareness of future challenges, while the next paragraph recognises that repeated advice may create pressure. However, these points remain broad and are not supported with specific examples or clear explanations of how effort leads to outcomes. The opening also spends time discussing parents’ success and difficulties without connecting this clearly to the question. Your position becomes clearest near the end, but it is not consistently stated or developed throughout. Explain each side more fully and make your central view explicit from the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs and a recognisable movement from an introduction to advantages, disadvantages and a concluding view. This gives the reader some overall structure. However, progression within and between paragraphs is often unclear: the discussion of parents’ experiences in paragraph two does not lead clearly into the later points, and the final paragraph largely repeats the opening message rather than drawing the argument together. Linking phrases such as “There are advantages” and “In my point of view” help signal direction, but connections are sometimes mechanical or imprecise. References such as “this statement” and “this particular topic” do not always make clear which idea is meant. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “achieve success,” “encouraging,” “future,” and “burden,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or awkward choices make parts difficult to interpret. For example, “the race of success,” “towards darkness in their life,” and “every individuals” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also repeated spelling and word-form errors, including “achieveable,” “harships,” “sucess,” and “improtant.” These errors are noticeable and sometimes interrupt the reader’s understanding. Build a more precise set of expressions for motivation, pressure and personal goals, and check spelling and collocations carefully. Prefer familiar, accurate wording over ambitious phrases that do not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “if elders keeps telling and discussing…” and “because if elders keeps telling…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to follow. Examples include “It is often told our elders,” “Some parents were able to succeed…and some were unable,” and “Every childrens and elders have the mentality,” which show problems with sentence construction, agreement and plural forms. The sentence “we should be told be told” also contains an uncorrected repetition. Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, particularly where ideas are joined with “because” or “and.” Practise building accurate sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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