Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is seen that in some culture childrens are advised to hard work in order to achieve anything in thier life. This essay discuss about the pros and cons of this vague advice given to the children.

The major benefit of this practice is that some childrens take this as an inspiration to explore their interest from their childhood and work hard to attain that paticular interest by practicing it. For instance, from my personal experience engaging in sports activities in my school gave me a clear idea about my ability in sports. My dream was to achieve gold medal in national games and I worked hard throughout my school days to grab it. This insight pave a way to identify my unknown ability. In addition, it provides me the courage to work hard rather than just practicing it for time pass. Moreover, working hard and attaining it, build perserverance and self confidence in a child. These are the key factors which shape the character of a child in the future.

On the other hand, sometimes children may struggle owing to this advice by elders. The main reason behind it is the mental stress created inside the students. The unexpected results creates mental trauma among the students which leads to destruction of both physical and mental wellbeing. A clear example is, nowadys it is prevalent that children pursuing for NEET examination met with suicide because of low marks. Likewise, the another major drawback is that lack of self confidence among the students after a failure. It is seen that an failure pull them back from trying it once again because of lack of self confidence.

In conclusion, eventhough such words are inspirational to students somehow create issues which affects the mental wellbeing of the children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message can inspire children, but may also harm their wellbeing. The sports example makes the benefit personal and relevant, while the discussion of exam pressure and reduced confidence supports the disadvantages. However, the two sides are not equally developed. The benefits are explained through several effects, whereas the drawbacks would be stronger if you clarified how the message that effort guarantees success can create unrealistic expectations, and distinguished this from pressure caused by examinations. The conclusion repeats the contrast but does not add much synthesis. Develop the cause-and-effect links more fully and keep the focus on the specific message children receive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression within the first body paragraph is generally logical, moving from discovering an interest to building perseverance and confidence. You also use signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the clearer progression associated with a stronger performance. However, links can feel mechanical, particularly the repeated “Moreover” and “Likewise,” and some references are unclear, such as “it” in “attaining it” and “an failure.” Improve cohesion by making the relationship between each example and the main point explicit, and vary transitions naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “inspiration,” “perseverance,” “self confidence,” “mental stress,” and “wellbeing,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “national games” and “NEET examination.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “children,” “hard,” and “achieve,” and several inaccurate choices or collocations make the writing less natural. Examples include “vague advice” for the message described in the prompt, “grab” a medal, and “destruction of” wellbeing. Spelling errors such as “thier,” “paticular,” and “nowadys” are also noticeable. Build precision by learning common academic collocations and checking spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “rather than.” The main ideas are usually understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “This essay discuss” has subject–verb disagreement, while “The unexpected results creates” repeats this problem. Articles and plurals are also unreliable in “an failure” and “some childrens,” and the opening phrase “children are advised to hard work” has an incorrect verb pattern. Some long sentences would benefit from clearer clause structure and punctuation. Practise agreement, articles, plural forms, and verb patterns, then proofread each sentence to ensure its subject and verb match.

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