Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In different traditions, people are usually giving advice to their offspring, like they can achieve anything if they work hard for that. Giving such messages to children can enhance the sense of motivation among them. However, certain children get distracted and put their efforts in useless and illogical tasks. This essay will discuss in detail the benefits and drawbacks of advising the children.

Parents always want their children to succeed in almost every part of their life. For that, they try to guide them in a positive manner, in the form of giving advice or by telling them their personal experiences. They give advice such as working hard enough to achieve anything in the future. This might be beneficial for them because proper feedback and guidance will increase the chances of creativity and instill in them self-motivation to put more effort into becoming successful. For example, many children follow their parents' footsteps in order to achieve their aims.

On the other hand, there are certain drawbacks of counseling the children. Many children consider these suggestions as useless. Instead of following the advice and working hard, they become self-obsessed and try to do the things on their own. This can be disastrous if they don't follow the counseling of their elders. Their future can be destroyed by their own hands, especially if they put their hard work in useless and illogical tasks instead of studies.

Therefore, it's a parent's responsibility to keep an eye on their child so they can be saved from those circumstances.

In conclusion, proper guidance can be advantageous for children in increasing confidence and motivation, but not following the footsteps and doing unnecessary things can have negative impact on a child's future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages and maintains a broadly relevant position: encouragement can build motivation, while children may pursue unwise goals without guidance. The benefit is supported by the idea that parental advice can foster creativity and self-motivation, but this explanation remains general, and the example about children following their parents’ footsteps does not clearly show how the message helps them achieve anything through effort. The disadvantage is less convincing: becoming “self-obsessed” and ignoring elders is asserted rather than explained, and the discussion shifts towards studying rather than the broader issue of unrealistic expectations or limits on ability. Develop each side with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “However,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. Within paragraphs, though, progression is sometimes mechanical or unclear. For instance, the move from children ignoring advice to their future being “destroyed” is abrupt, and the final sentence of the disadvantage paragraph introduces parental monitoring without developing how it addresses the problem. Some references, including “these suggestions” and “those circumstances,” are broad. To strengthen cohesion, connect each claim explicitly to the central message and use clearer references, while ensuring each paragraph develops one complete line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing parenting and motivation, with relevant terms such as “self-motivation,” “guidance,” and “drawbacks.” There are also attempts at less common or formal wording, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and make the argument less precise. “People are usually giving advice” is an awkward expression for a general habit, while “put their efforts in useless and illogical tasks” and “counseling the children” do not fit the intended meaning naturally. “Self-obsessed” is also a strong and unclear description of children acting independently. Aim for more precise collocations and avoid repeating broad terms such as “advice” and “things”; this will make the ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses (“if they don’t follow the counseling”) and a relative clause (“especially if they put their hard work…”). Most sentences remain understandable, and errors rarely obstruct the overall message. Some grammatical inaccuracies persist, however. “People are usually giving advice” uses an unsuitable continuous form for a general situation; “a parent's responsibility” is followed by “their child,” creating a number mismatch; and “can have negative impact” needs an article before “negative impact.” The sentence beginning “This might be beneficial…” also becomes difficult to follow because several ideas are packed into one structure. Review verb forms, agreement, and articles, and divide complex explanations where needed.

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