Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Few civilizations believed that if you truly want something you must work hard for it and you will definitely get it. They often inculcate this thought process in kids from yearly age. While it have its own pros and cons.

First i want to discuss advantage of making your children belief this strong that they will always be ready for all the hard work to achive their dreams. They will deal with all the obstacles positively when they have this mindset that they are responsible for what will they get. They will held themself accountable for all of their actions and will take full responsibility to do whatever they can to achieve their target.

on the other hand, this mindset also have some negative consequences. As if someone has tried its best but didn't get what he/she is trying to get then they will be upset and blame themselves or may harm theirselves. It can also happen they will not be willing to try again and lose hope.

In my opinion always provide your children a clear mindset, if they desire something they have to sacrifice alot of things but there is no 100% surety that they will get what they aim for because some times luck plays an important role. Similary getting/achieveing something should not be the target because people always learn from experiences either they achieve their dreams or failed. Failure also open doors of other opportunities so they can navigate whats suit them. Elders should make sure that they taught their children to be optimistics in each situation and learn from experience and get prepared better for next time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant personal view: the message may encourage persistence and responsibility, but can also lead to self-blame or loss of hope when goals are not reached. This covers the main parts of the question, and the final paragraph adds a useful qualification that effort does not guarantee success. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the possible harm to children is mentioned briefly, without clarifying how the message might lead to it, and the benefits could be illustrated with a specific example. Your position is present, but it would be stronger if stated more directly and consistently developed across the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, one on drawbacks, and a concluding opinion. The contrast signalled by “on the other hand” helps readers follow the shift between sides, and the ideas generally progress from persistence to possible disappointment and then to a balanced recommendation. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. The opening ends with the fragment “While it have its own pros and cons,” and the final paragraph combines several ideas—sacrifice, luck, learning from failure, and guidance—without clearly separating their relationships. Use complete topic sentences and organise the conclusion around one central recommendation, with clearer links between supporting points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “obstacles,” “accountable,” “responsibility,” “sacrifice,” and “opportunities.” These choices help communicate ideas about effort and resilience. However, the range and control are uneven, with several inaccurate word forms, spelling errors, and unnatural combinations that make parts less fluent, such as “belief this strong,” “achive their dreams,” and “navigate whats suit them.” Some wording is also repetitive, particularly “get” and “achieve.” Aim to learn common collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise expressions for persistence, expectations, and coping with setbacks would make the argument clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures such as “if they desire something” and “because some times luck plays an important role.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, and the main ideas are usually understandable. However, control is inconsistent: “While it have its own pros and cons” is an incomplete clause, “They will held themself accountable” has an incorrect verb form, and “this mindset also have” shows subject–verb disagreement. There are also errors in sentence boundaries and capitalization, including the lowercase starts “on the other hand” and “similary.” Practise building complete sentences and checking agreement, verb forms, and punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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