Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, In some culture, there is a discussion about whether children can achieve anything if they try harder enough. I strongly believe that although children can achieve their goal if they try hard, there also some advantanges and disadvantages. Let us discuss both of them below.

On the one hand, elders should be encourage children to achieve their while trying hard. Between the process children may have several advantages such as children are able to create a solution for a problem individually with multiple examples and they can maintain discipline and time management. This results in children ability in achieving anything and they will be know clearly about their goals in short period. For example, if a boy begins studying hard from his childhood with his parents support. Then at the time of adulthood he can grasp the concepts in a different way than others. As a result, He can achieve the goal very quickly and he always encourages himself to try harder enough to achieve anything.

On the other hand, apart from advantages there are some disadvnatages if children follow a wrong path while trying hard to achieve any thing. This is because children can think to get success in a negative way also. Disadvantages such as children may fail between the process of trying hard and leads to depression and they may get a thought to achieve something in a negative way. For instance, a student works so hard to achieve merit marks in his grade and after several attempts he fails to achieve it. Moreover, he works on negative side like cheating instead of stepping back from exams. Therefore, this leads to end his career if he caught to officials.

In conclusion, children should be encouraged by the elders to achieve anything if they try hard enough. I genuinely believe that children should focus an correct process which provides perfect outcome.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall view: children should be encouraged to work hard, provided they follow the right process. The benefits you identify—independent problem-solving, discipline and time management—are relevant, and the example of a boy studying from childhood helps illustrate persistence. The disadvantage paragraph also gives a concrete consequence, with a student turning to cheating after failing to gain high marks. However, some points are not fully explained: the link between hard work and achieving goals “in short period” is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the risks of unrealistic expectations or disappointment could be explored more directly. Develop each main idea with clearer reasoning and keep the discussion focused on the effects of giving children this message.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the direction easy to follow. The examples are placed in the relevant paragraphs, and the conclusion returns to the central issue. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some stronger control through paragraphing and progression. To make the flow more consistently smooth, reduce formulaic transitions and clarify links between claims. For example, “This results in children ability” does not clearly connect the listed skills to the claim that children will achieve goals quickly. Use precise references and explain how each example supports the point before moving to the next idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, with relevant terms such as “discipline,” “time management,” “depression,” and “cheating.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make some phrases awkward or less clear. Examples include “try harder enough,” “achieve their goal,” “negative side,” and “caught to officials”; “advantanges” and “disadvnatages” are also misspelled. Repetition of “achieve” and “try hard” further restricts flexibility. Build a more precise set of expressions for effort, outcomes, pressure, and ethical choices, and check spelling and natural word combinations. This will help you express the same relevant ideas more clearly and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “if a boy begins studying hard…” and “if children follow a wrong path…”. The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “there also some advantanges” needs a verb, “elders should be encourage” has an incorrect passive form, and “children ability” needs a possessive form. The sentence beginning “For example” is also separated from the following sentence in a way that disrupts the structure. Practise accurate clause construction and subject–verb agreement, and proofread each sentence for complete verbs and clear punctuation.

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