Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

offsprings in any culture or nation always considered as a medium of human hereditary.

Most of the countries parents pressurised advised to their childers they should must work hard at any cost to achieve any gold in thier life.subsequantly they often grabed thier set goals according to their parents but some have failed even in tuff circumstances.

Mostly in every society parents want that their childers become or chose profession that they want in any condition and parents give stress to their childern for adopting the career according to their parents choice.

But if childrens choose the profession which is against their intellectual skills chaidren fails badly in their carrer because they have a lack of interest in the professin that is choosen by their parents.

And if we see the good side of this massage given by parents for selection of profession according to their parents choice parents support children in any condition for his success in future because they feelb happy that their childerns follow the path which is choosen by their parents.

The reason behind this is parents know about the good and bad of a specific profession as they have experience in the society and know much more about recent cultural and prfessional growth of any specific profession.

So,if the children chosse profession of their parents choise and this profession match with their mental capacity than this is very useful for both parents and childrens becauce every human being has its own mind which is God gifted,if your mind capbilities againts your profession you have must be quit from this profession and follow the right path according to your capabilities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, but it largely shifts the question from the message that children can achieve anything through effort to parents choosing their children’s professions. The disadvantage is linked to children lacking interest or ability in a career selected by parents, while the advantage is that parents can offer support and draw on experience. These are relevant only in part, and the central issue of how an effort-focused message can build motivation or create unrealistic expectations is not clearly addressed. Ideas are also difficult to follow because the position is not stated clearly. Focus directly on the message in the prompt and explain each side with a specific example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces parental expectations, later sentences describe a possible disadvantage, and the final section presents a possible benefit. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because the discussion repeatedly returns to parents selecting careers rather than developing a clear comparison of advantages and disadvantages. Connectors such as “But,” “And if,” and “So” are used, but they do not always show the relationship between ideas clearly. Several long sentences combine multiple points without clear boundaries, and paragraphing does not separate the main arguments. Plan one paragraph for each side, use clear topic sentences, and make each sentence develop the point before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice problems that sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to understand. For example, “massage” appears to mean “message,” “gold” seems intended as “goal,” and “profession” and “parents’ choice” recur without much variation. Some relevant terms are attempted, including “intellectual skills,” “lack of interest,” and “mental capacity,” but several phrases are unnatural or unclear, such as “medium of human hereditary” and “recent cultural and professional growth.” Choose vocabulary that directly expresses the task’s ideas, such as motivation, perseverance, expectations, and setbacks. Check spelling and collocations carefully, and avoid using complex-sounding phrases when their meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts some longer sentences using clauses and conditionals, but grammatical errors are frequent and can distort meaning. For instance, “Most of the countries parents pressurised advised to their childers” lacks a clear sentence structure, while “if the children chosse profession … than this is very useful” has problems with clause construction and agreement. Articles, plurals, verb forms, and punctuation are also often inaccurate, as in “every human being has its own mind” and the run-on final sentence. Sentence boundaries are especially important: several ideas are joined with commas or “and” when they need separate sentences. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time and check subject–verb agreement.

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