Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In numerous cultures around the globe , peopel has often teach the children they could be achived everything in the world which they want , if try hard work enough that would be needed . This approch could make the childern much more dedicated , critical thinker and become a person who never give up in any situation. However, it also present significant drawbacks , childern become more metrialistic that lead them to wrong path.

Admittedly. there is numerous benefits of teaching the children to get anything with hard work. Firstly, this approach can make them more dedicated about their goals instead of focus on some distractions. In addition, children could be developed problem solving skills in their early age of life that would helped them in real life situations. Moreover, instead of running away from the difficult situations they would become such kinds of persons who face the challenges . For instance,if a child who want to become a pilot , parents told him to do hard work , get good grades in school and college as well as focus on his well-being , this approach would become a fuel for child. Therefore, teaching children about to do enough hard work for their achivemnets could be an effective appraoch from parents.

On the other hand, this approach has some drawbacks the also might be considered. Firstly, childern who was know only about hard work that might be enough to get anything ends up choosing wrong future career path because they do not know talent is also significant .In addition, they become more materialistic about their desires either it's posotive or negative .For example, if someone has talent to become professional footballer but intead of knowing about the real talent just doing hard work in cricket , similarly childern just run behind making money with hard work more and more it also present negative effects on them. Therefore, teaching only about hard work might create difficulities for childern in real life situations.

In conclusion, although it is effective approach to teach children about hard work if they want to achieve anything. However, just hard work is not enough to deal with real life situaions it create difficulities for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall view: encouragement can build persistence, but hard work alone may lead children to overlook talent or make unsuitable choices. The benefits are supported with relevant points about focus, problem-solving and facing challenges, and the pilot example helps illustrate parental encouragement. The drawbacks are also relevant, particularly the contrast between a talented footballer and someone pursuing cricket. However, some claims are not fully explained: the link between hard work and becoming “more materialistic,” for example, is asserted rather than clearly demonstrated. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how the message can create unrealistic expectations or disappointment, and develop each example so its connection to the argument is explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Its progression is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “In addition,” and “On the other hand” help readers identify the stages of the argument. This gives the essay a coherent overall arrangement. At times, however, linking feels mechanical because several points are introduced with the same formula, and some connections between ideas are unclear. For instance, the move from choosing an unsuitable career to becoming materialistic needs a clearer explanation. The conclusion also repeats the main points rather than drawing them together. Use more varied transitions and clearer references to show how each example supports the paragraph’s central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “dedicated,” “problem solving skills,” “distractions,” “challenges,” and “career path.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond very basic language. However, the range is limited and errors in spelling, word form and collocation are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause: examples include “achivemnets,” “metr ialistic,” “do hard work,” and “fuel for child.” Repeated use of “hard work,” “approach,” and “children” also restricts flexibility. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases, such as “sustained effort,” “pursue a goal,” and “natural aptitude,” and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would also help distinguish persistence from the claim that effort guarantees success.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional examples and clauses introduced by “although” and “because.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main argument is usually understandable. However, complex constructions are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries recur. For example, “peopel has often teach” has incorrect agreement and verb form, while “if try hard work enough” lacks a clear subject and grammatical structure. The opening “Admittedly.” is also incorrectly punctuated as a sentence fragment, and the final sentence beginning “although” is not joined correctly to the following clause. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a subordinate clause before adding further detail.

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