Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the last few decades, working hard is often associated with successful career. In many societies, juveniles are advised to put enough efforts in order to achieve anything they want to. However, is this development positive, or are there more drawbacks than advantages? In this essay, I will discuss benefits and drawbacks of hard work and draw some conclusions.

One of the major advantages is that putting an effort can help people achieve their goal. In the early age, kids are told to set their goal either it is related to the academic achievement or sports. Although they might face obstacles while studying or playing, it allows them to remain consistent, focused and hard-working. Secondly, hard work can open doors of opportunities worldwide. For instance, many students who work hard in their early academics earn scholarships to get higher education in another country. Therefore, putting efforts may take a lot of time, but it is worth it in a longer run.

On the other hand, the major drawback is that smart work sometimes outweighs hard work which means that it is very important to be productive rather than wasting time and efforts on something which will not have significant outcome. For example, many students achieve top positions in schools by studying smartly rather than focusing on rote learning. Another major disadvantage is that competition among kids in school might demotivate those who invest their precious time in trying hard enough to get their desired marks. This is because some teachers give highest marks to those students who are their favorite, and this can lead to biased grading discrimination and among them.

To conclude, there are positives and negatives to this way of hard work. In spite of the fact that it helps people reach their destination by providing them good opportunities, some of them may find it is easy to work smart rather putting an effort on something which doesn't help to get results up to their expectations. Personally, I believe that the determination and dedication will somehow help to achieve goal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant overall position: hard work can create opportunities, but effort alone is not always the best route to success. The examples about scholarships and studying strategically help illustrate these points. However, the discussion does not consistently focus on the specific message children receive—that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The point about biased grading, for instance, is introduced as a disadvantage but is not clearly connected to the effects of that message. Some ideas, such as the value of persistence, are relevant but need fuller explanation of how this belief affects children. A more direct evaluation of both the benefits and risks of encouraging this absolute message would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Secondly,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” make the direction of the argument clear. This organisation meets the lower-band expectations and shows some features of stronger progression. However, cohesion is occasionally mechanical, with repeated references to “hard work” and “putting efforts,” and some links between ideas are not fully clear. The sentence about teachers favouring certain students moves abruptly from competition to biased grading. Use more precise referencing and explain the connection between each example and the paragraph’s main point to make the flow smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for discussing effort, education, and achievement, including “consistent,” “opportunities,” “scholarships,” “demotivate,” and “biased grading.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some less common terms are attempted. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “in the early age,” “earn scholarships to get higher education,” and “reach their destination” when referring to goals. Repetition of “hard work,” “efforts,” and “achieve” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and precise collocations, while checking word forms and expressions. These improvements would make the argument sound more fluent without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning “Although” and “This is because,” and most meaning remains clear. Some sentences are controlled, such as the example about students earning scholarships. There are, however, some grammatical errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “set their goal either it is related” needs a clearer conditional structure, while “the determination and dedication will somehow help to achieve goal” is missing an article and a clear subject for the infinitive. The clause about “biased grading discrimination and among them” is also structurally unclear. Review sentence boundaries and check articles and verb patterns; greater accuracy across these structures would strengthen the writing.

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