Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Encouraging children to believe that hard work is help to achieve their goals . In several cultures, children are often that they can attain anything if they try hard enough. I partialy agee with the given statement and will support with my credible examples.

On the one hand, encourage children to think that hard work leads to attain their goals has many benefits on them. It encourages them to become confident and patience when they faced difficulties. This belief can help children to develop a positive attitude towards challenegs and troubles that failure is the first key of success. Additional, instead of doing hard work we should teach our children to se techniques that are very helpful in their lives. For instance, a student who finds mathematics difficult can practise daily instead of giving up. As a result, they can improve their skills and become more confident in their studies.

On the other hand, many children think that hard work is only the key to success while , they always prefer to hard-work and do not have ability to use techniques. Sometime, children do work hard and they fail to achieve their goal. As a result they loose their patience, confidence and persistent. Consequently, this belief can put pressure on children to get good marks or become successful in life.For example, the child who often practise and they fail to become a sucessfull player. As a result they loose their hope and not able to do something.

To conclude, hard work helps children to become confident and face challenges. However, parents should teach them that hard work does not always guarantee success. This helps children learn from failure and follow their dreams.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant overall view: hard work can build confidence, but it does not guarantee success. The mathematics example supports the benefit, while the aspiring player illustrates possible disappointment. However, the opening says you “partialy agee,” which does not clearly establish your position on the full question, and the discussion sometimes shifts from the message itself to hard work in general. The disadvantages are also less fully explained: the player example could show more clearly how adults’ expectations or an absolute promise of success create pressure. Develop each side with a clear cause-and-effect explanation and make your position consistent from the introduction to the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” make the main stages easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes weakened by unclear links or repeated result markers. For example, the disadvantage paragraph moves from children relying only on effort to failure, loss of confidence, pressure, and the player example without clearly showing how each point connects. Some references, such as “they” in the example, are also not always precise. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “confident,” “difficulties,” “positive attitude,” “pressure,” and “failure,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make expression awkward, such as “hard work leads to attain their goals,” “use techniques,” and “loose their patience.” Spelling errors, including “partialy,” “challeng es” (written as “challeng es” in the response), and “sucessfull,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “perseverance,” “effective strategies,” and “lose confidence” would help express the argument naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “A student who finds mathematics difficult…” and a contrast introduced by “However.” Nevertheless, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors can make some ideas difficult to interpret. The opening fragment, “Encouraging children to believe that hard work is help to achieve their goals,” lacks a complete, well-formed main clause. Other examples include “children are often that they can attain anything,” “when they faced difficulties,” and “the child who often practise and they fail.” Work on complete sentence formation, subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and consistent tense. Editing each sentence for a clear subject and verb would improve accuracy.

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