Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many parts of word, children are often told they can ahieve anything if they try hard enough. Although some might consider it negative, I believe it to be extremly benificial. Not only does it helps children build self-confidence and encourages them to work hard and achieve their goals, but also it helps children become succesful in their studies and future careers.

There are multiple benefits associated with hardworking to achieve anything in life. Firstly, if children try to hard work to achieve their goals, their confidence increases automatically. Take an example of Japan, where majority of students are able to work on their own confidence because they work hard to achieve their goals. Thus, this mega benefit I believe has the potential to make this development a positive development.

Secondly, it helps to motivates chilodren to study harder and make continues efforts to achieve their goals. For instance, a recent survey conducted in

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You establish a relevant position by saying the message is “extremly benificial” and identify confidence and motivation as advantages. However, the response addresses only the advantages, while the task explicitly asks for both advantages and disadvantages. The ideas are also minimally developed: the Japan example is broad and does not explain how hard work builds confidence, and the second example stops at “a recent survey conducted in” without giving any result. The response is substantially below the required minimum of 250 words, which further limits the explanation and support. To improve, discuss at least one possible drawback—such as unrealistic expectations or self-blame when goals are not reached—and develop each point with a clear explanation and relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction is followed by paragraphs beginning “Firstly” and “Secondly,” so the reader can identify the main points. Linking expressions such as “Although,” “Thus,” and “For instance” also show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is limited because both body paragraphs focus on benefits, and the second ends abruptly mid-example. Some connections are unclear: “Thus, this mega benefit” does not clearly show how the Japan example supports the preceding claim, while “Not only … but also” introduces several ideas that are not subsequently organised. Use a clear paragraph for each side of the question, and ensure each paragraph develops one point through explanation and a complete example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “self-confidence,” “goals,” “motivates,” and “future careers.” However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “word” for “world,” “ahieve,” “extremly,” “benificial,” “succesful,” and “chilodren.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “hardworking to achieve anything,” “work on their own confidence,” and “this mega benefit.” These choices can make the intended meaning less clear and keep the vocabulary from being consistently appropriate. Aim for accurate, natural collocations such as “make a sustained effort,” “build confidence,” and “meet expectations,” and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex structures, including “Although some might consider it negative” and the “Not only … but also” construction, alongside simpler sentences. However, the complex forms are often faulty: “Not only does it helps” should be “Not only does it help,” and “it helps to motivates” should be “it helps to motivate.” There are also problems with sentence construction and agreement in “where majority of students are able to work,” which needs an article and a clearer grammatical pattern. The final sentence is incomplete, ending after “conducted in.” These errors recur and sometimes interrupt understanding. Practise accurate verb patterns after “help” and auxiliary verbs, and check that every sentence has a complete main clause.

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