Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in many socities kids are immune to do the hardwork to achieve anything in their life. Although this development has many drawbacks, I believe its benefits are far more significant because it is crucial in this commpatitive world.

One of the main drawbacks of this development is that sometimes continues efforts and hardwork cannot give desired results, and can have detrimental affect on children's mental health. To explain it in simple words, after trying the best children can still fail in some aspects of their life which can be disappointing for them, and they can feel depressed because of it. For instance, from their childhood if they will learn that they can overrun anyone with hardwork than if they will get second or thired number in the exam than they will be disappointed from the results, and it can affect their mental health.

However, it is vital for them to learn doing the hardwork from their childhood because of an increasing compitision around the globe where everyone is trying to achive something in their life. Therefor, from their childhood they should be taught that they have to do hardwork to achieve anything in their life because it will preper them for upcoming future, and because of this they will be able to commpitie with others. For example, many socities around the world prefer to put their children in the situations where they have to do hardwork to get desired result.

To conclude, sometimes this development can be disoppointing and depressing for kids. However, it is necessary for kids to learn doing hardwork from their childhood because it will preper them for the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear: you acknowledge that the message can harm children’s mental health, but argue that its benefits are greater because it prepares them for competition. The example about a child being disappointed by coming second helps illustrate the disadvantage. However, the advantages are explained mainly through general claims about hard work and competing with others; the example about societies placing children in demanding situations is not specific enough to show how the message benefits a child. The discussion also treats effort as a route to achieving anything without considering limits such as circumstances or individual differences. Develop each side with more precise reasoning and examples to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two sides is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However” and “To conclude” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some stronger control through a logical progression. To make the flow more consistently smooth, reduce repeated wording and make links between claims and examples more explicit. For instance, the example about exam results follows the point about disappointment, but the final example about societies is not clearly connected to the claim that the message prepares children for the future. Clearer referencing and more varied transitions would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “detrimental,” “mental health,” “disappointed,” and “competitive,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “socities,” “commpatitive,” “achive,” and “disoppointing.” There are also awkward or repeated expressions, especially “do the hardwork” and “achieve anything in their life.” These make the writing sound less natural and sometimes require the reader to interpret the intended meaning. Build a more accurate range of collocations for effort, achievement, and pressure, and check spelling carefully. Using precise alternatives rather than repeating “hard work” would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “Although this development has many drawbacks” and a reason clause beginning “because it is crucial.” However, complex structures are often difficult to control. In the sentence beginning “For instance, from their childhood,” the conditional sequence is unclear, and the repeated “than” makes the relationship between effort and exam results hard to follow. Other examples include “after trying the best children can still fail” and “they should be taught that they have to do hardwork,” where sentence construction and grammatical patterns need attention. Aim for shorter, more controlled sentences first, then practise combining ideas with accurate clauses and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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