Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Working hard is a key to success and to acomplish the goals of life. In many cultures, it is often taught to children that they can be successful in any field of life, they can achieve any goal if they work hard. I firmly believe that, giving this message to generations has numerous advantages, rather than disadvantages.

First and the formost, the biggest advantage is that, children can develope the habit to work hard. They start believing on doing work with attention. They make rules and plans to work and achieve their goals. For example, Children in thier early age develope thier habits, they learn to work and learn from mistakes. Therefore, when they were taught in a manner to try hard enough and never giveup before achieving succsess, They can be habitual to nevre giveup and work hard. Consequently, children improve their attention and can focus more on their golas. It makes them strong and can enhance the abilities to be presistence and determinent.

However, this lesson can be harmful for thier mental health, they can feel somehow anxious when they cannot be able to get their results after paying thier endless efforts. For instance, a children work so hard to achieve high scores in his class, but at the result day he couldn't get the desired marks. He suffer from uncertainity and lose interest in studies, and can face mental health issues.

To conclude, hardwork and try hard for achieveing specific goal can bring success certainly. Train a children to try hard enough can help to struggle get success. Its advantages have more weightage than disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: the message has more advantages than disadvantages. The first body paragraph explains how it may build persistence, planning and focus, while the second identifies anxiety and loss of interest when effort does not produce the desired result. These are relevant points, and the example of a student who works hard for high marks helps illustrate the drawback. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the link between early habits and stronger abilities could be developed with a clearer explanation. The conclusion largely repeats your position instead of drawing together the two effects. More balanced development of each side would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from persistence and focus to possible anxiety is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However” and “To conclude” help identify the stages of the argument. At times, though, linking is mechanical or the relationship between ideas is unclear. The first paragraph repeats the idea of working hard and not giving up several times, while “Therefore” and “Consequently” introduce points that partly overlap. Some references, such as “this lesson” and “they,” could be made more precise. Grouping related points and using clearer links between cause and effect would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “goals,” “attention,” “anxious,” “mental health,” and “lose interest,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “desired marks” and “endless efforts.” However, the range and control are limited by repeated use of “work hard,” “achieve,” and “goal,” as well as inaccurate word forms and collocations. Examples include “believing on doing work,” “enhance the abilities to be presistence,” and “more weightage.” Spelling errors such as “acomplish,” “succsess,” and “determin ent” (intended: “determined”) are noticeable and sometimes slow the reader. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “when they cannot be able to get their results after paying their endless efforts.” This shows an effort to express cause, contrast and time, but some structures are not controlled accurately. For example, “a children work” has an article and agreement problem, and “He suffer” needs a correctly inflected verb. Tense shifts also occur in “when they were taught” within a general discussion, and several sentences join independent ideas with commas, as in the sentence beginning “However, this lesson can be harmful.” These errors do not prevent the overall argument from being understood, but more reliable sentence boundaries, agreement and tense choices would strengthen accuracy.

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