Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In order to achieve something, children are told to try harder than they could in some cultures. It is also told they can get anything by their excellent effort. The disadvantages really outweigh the advantages of this way of encouraging young people

On the one hand, it is beneficial for them to follow the culture because they would put their greatest effort on their task with the hope to feel worthy and win something. They could challenge themselves and work hard in certain endeavors. Moreover, this culture might even work to certain age limit if parents or peer pressure encourage or motivate, they will definitely try to gain.

On the other hand, it is detrimental to teach them how they can achieve almost everything with their strongest effort on their goal or aim. That can mean to them that achieving everything will only make you feel worthy. Such concept can develop arrogant nature of a kid and after they become an adult, they are less likely to bear disappointment. That mindset could bring worthless, loser feelings and disappointments.

Therefore, instead of telling our youngsters how to achieve something we desire, we could teach them to keep realistic goals that is possible in real life and also to accept failures in life and to stand back on after losing something.

In conclusion, though children are motivated to aim for something and own it through putting their maximum effort unfortunately, if they fail in real, they could give up and lose hope in their career, studies and jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and make your position clear: the disadvantages “really outweigh the advantages.” The positive side includes effort, challenge and motivation, while the negative side considers arrogance and difficulty coping with disappointment. These are relevant responses to the question. However, some points are asserted rather than explained: for example, the link between effort and feeling “worthy” is unclear, and the claim that this message can create arrogance needs a more specific explanation or example. The final paragraph offers a sensible alternative—realistic goals and acceptance of failure—but could be connected more directly to the earlier points. Developing these ideas more evenly would make the response more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, a recommendation, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement. To strengthen cohesion further, make the links between ideas more explicit and avoid abrupt shifts. For instance, “Moreover, this culture might even work to certain age limit” is difficult to connect to the preceding point about challenging oneself, and “Therefore” introduces advice without fully showing how it follows from the disadvantages. Clearer referencing and more precise transitions would make the organisation feel less mechanical and more consistently logical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “encouraging,” “challenge themselves,” “disappointment,” “realistic goals,” and “accept failures.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and you attempt less common expressions such as “detrimental” and “endeavors.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unclear, including “put their greatest effort on their task,” “work to certain age limit,” and “stand back on after losing something.” Repetition of “achieve,” “effort,” and “something” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural combinations and precise wording—for example, describe children as “putting effort into a task” and “bouncing back after a setback.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses such as “if parents or peer pressure encourage or motivate” and a contrastive sentence beginning “though.” The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors make individual sentences difficult to follow. For example, “It is also told they can get anything” needs a passive construction such as “They are also told that they can achieve anything,” while “goals that is possible” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “after they become an adult, they are less likely,” the number shifts from plural to singular. Work on articles, agreement, and complete clause structures, and proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries to improve accuracy.

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