Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is commonly considered in several cultures that if kids seriously make attempt to aquire something, they can do it. This approach comes with numerous advantages like high confidence and improved problem solving skills, but it also brings noticeable drawback such as depression and that must not be overlooked.

To begin with, advising kids to work hard in their initial age can boost confidence. Childrens can feel themselves more motivated. The urge to obtain something requires positive mindset and learning this at young age is necessary. Different cultures have beneficial teachings which display good messages that leads to increase in the apptitude of childs. Another significant advantage is that during the process children face numerous problems and they learn how to tackle them by working hard. This results in finding a way to get rid of obtacles, because the urge to get anything motivates kids throughout the process. So in this way they learn problem solving skills which is the need of the modern society.

The major disadvantage it brings is depression. If people keep saying kids to work hard in order to achieve something, their is a possibility that kids stop it half way. This increases tension and a fear of missing out that everyone is working hard. As a result, they straight goes into depression. For example, at school students have too much pressure from their parents and society to get a first position. Sadly, if they do not do well at studies, they might go into depression. This will affect students for a long period and might be a probability that some students might not come back to studies.

In conclusion, although in different cultures children are advised to work hard to obtain something, this viewpoint can go in both directions. The advantages will be increase in confidence and useful problem solving skills which leads to more productivity. The disadvantage will be long-term depression.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the message may build confidence and problem-solving ability, but can also contribute to depression. The school-pressure example helps make the disadvantage concrete. However, the discussion focuses mainly on working hard and achieving goals, rather than examining the specific message that children can achieve anything if they try. The advantages are also unevenly developed: confidence and problem-solving are mentioned, but the explanation of how the message builds confidence remains general. The claim that children may “straight go into depression” is strong and would benefit from a more measured explanation. Clarify the link between the message, unrealistic expectations, and possible disappointment, and develop each main idea with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the main points. Ideas generally progress logically, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Another significant advantage,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some features of stronger organisation. However, several links feel mechanical or repetitive: “This results,” “So in this way,” and “As a result” repeatedly announce consequences rather than showing precise relationships. In the disadvantage paragraph, the shift from children stopping halfway to depression needs a clearer explanation. Use more varied transitions and ensure pronouns such as “it” and “this” refer unmistakably to the idea intended.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “confidence,” “positive mindset,” “tackle,” “obstacles,” and “problem solving skills,” so the main ideas are understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “noticeable drawback” and “long-term depression.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “make attempt to acquire something,” “the urge to obtain something,” and “go into depression” do not express the ideas naturally in context. Spelling and word-form errors, including “aquire,” “apptitude,” “childs,” and “obtables,” also weaken control. Build a reliable range of collocations around effort, expectations, achievement, and emotional pressure, and check spelling and forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures, and the overall meaning is usually clear. For example, “If people keep saying kids to work hard…” attempts a conditional, while the school example develops a longer sequence of consequences. Some grammatical errors remain, however. These include agreement and verb-form problems in “their is,” “they straight goes,” and “messages that leads,” as well as the construction “keep saying kids to work hard.” There are also errors with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, such as “Childrens” and the comma splice in “The major disadvantage it brings is depression. If…” (the latter sentence is acceptable as written, but the opening clause would be clearer as “The major disadvantage is…”). Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and vary sentence structures while checking each clause.

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