Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some nations, individuals teach their children that they are able to achieve anything they want by obtaining different qualities like hardwork, discipline and dedication. I largely agree with this given view and I will discuss its merits and demerits in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, there are several benefits for this view. First and foremost, children can achieve anything by doing efforts to accomplish their dreams. As if children want to score high in their academics, they have to stay focused towards the syllabus. As a result, they will achieve their targets by focusing on matter of subject and understanding every concept efficiently. Additionally, if children works hard for anything they want despite their academics, they can achieve by getting knowledge from others. For example, a child wants to develop good habits such as staying organised, he or she can do so by putting their things on specific place, which will result in saving time and efforts. Moreover, if children remains consistent towards the goal, they may not have time to indulge in bad activities, which will result in making a child sincere and dedicated.

In contrast, there are some drawbacks of encouraging children that they can do anything by putting efforts. Firstly, children may feel stressed and burdened, by giving their best efforts and time to accomplish the targets, by which children will not only be able to enjoy the present moments but also weaken their bonds with their friends and family. Secondly, If a child is taught that he or she can achieve every target by just putting their efforts and when they are unable to accomplish them, they feel disappointed and stressed because sometimes, they set target which are beyond their potential.

To conclude, I believe that it is beneficial that putting efforts can lead to achieve desired goals. But just focusing on the targets will result in making person feel stressed and burdened due to which he or she cannot even able to enjoy the present moments. Therefore, its benefits are more than its drawbacks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and state a position, especially in the conclusion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The examples about academic focus and developing organised habits make the benefits relevant, while stress and disappointment are appropriate disadvantages. This meets the task well, and the position is generally clear. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others: the point that consistent effort keeps children away from “bad activities” is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the disadvantages could be developed with a clearer explanation of how unrealistic expectations affect children. To strengthen the response further, explain the limits of the message—for example, that effort matters but circumstances and ability can also affect outcomes—and connect this qualification to your overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression within the main paragraphs is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Additionally,” “In contrast,” and “To conclude” help readers identify the stages of the argument. This is a strong organisational foundation. Some linking is nevertheless mechanical, with repeated “As a result” and “which will result” constructions, and the opening phrase “As if” does not create a clear logical connection to the preceding point. References such as “this view” and “them” could also be made more precise. Use a wider range of natural links and ensure each example is explicitly tied to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss effort, goals, and emotional effects, including “discipline,” “dedication,” “consistent,” and “disappointed.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and the response attempts some topic-appropriate language. However, several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “doing efforts,” “focused towards the syllabus,” “focus on matter of subject,” and “putting their things on specific place.” Repetition of “achieve,” “efforts,” and “targets” also limits flexibility. These issues sometimes make the reader pause, even though the intended meaning is usually recoverable. Build accuracy by learning common collocations—for example, “make an effort,” “focus on their studies,” and “achieve a goal”—and vary repeated terms with suitable alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if children want to score high” and a longer explanation beginning “when they are unable to accomplish them.” This shows some range, and the overall meaning remains understandable. However, errors occur in agreement, sentence construction, articles, and punctuation. For example, “if children works” and “if children remains” need plural verb forms, while “a child wants … he or she can do so … their things” shifts between singular and plural reference. The sentence beginning “As if children want” is also structurally unclear, and the final sentence of the drawbacks paragraph is overloaded. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences with clear clauses; then check articles and punctuation during revision.

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