Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In various cultures, children are growing up hearing that they have no limits to what they can achieve if they are determined. This belief is intended to inspire them to pursue their dream. However, it may also create unrealistic expectations. In my opinion, this mindset is beneficial, as children are also taught to be passionate, but the limitation of how it can be applied is excessive pressure on children.

On the one hand, this approach teaches children to take responsibility for their development. Rather than assuming that intelligence and talent are fixed qualities, they may understand that consistent feedback can improve their performance. For example, a child who initially struggles to speak in public may gradually become an effective communicator by practicing regularly and learning from mistakes. As a result, it encourages them to be self-confident.

On the other hand, the belief that anything is possible through hard work alone can have negative consequences. Success is not always determined by individual effort. For example,

students who believe they must achieve the highest marks through constant effort may suffer from anxiety. Therefore, this pressure may lead to personal failure.

In conclusion, encouraging children to do hard work toward their ambition can strengthen their willingness to learn. Nevertheless, it should not be presented as a way to achieve absolute success; parents and teachers should encourage them and make them confident, as this can help them to do hard work that is rather realistic and leads to achieving great things in their life,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view: the message can encourage learning, but should not promise absolute success. The advantage is supported with a relevant example of a child improving at public speaking through practice and feedback. However, the disadvantage is less fully explained: the example of students becoming anxious under pressure is relevant, but “this pressure may lead to personal failure” is vague and does not show clearly how the message itself causes that outcome. The opening also introduces “passion” without developing it. To strengthen the response, explain the limits of effort—for instance, how circumstances or differing abilities affect outcomes—and develop the consequences more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow, and the public-speaking example is placed logically within the advantages paragraph. Some links are less precise: “Therefore” introduces a conclusion about pressure without fully showing the reasoning, while “As a result” connects practice to self-confidence but could explain that relationship more explicitly. The final sentence is long and contains several ideas, which weakens the ending. For stronger progression, use clearer cause-and-effect links and divide the conclusion into more controlled sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “unrealistic expectations,” “consistent feedback,” “fixed qualities,” and “individual effort.” These choices help express the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear. There are also some imprecise or unnatural combinations, such as “pursue their dream,” “do hard work toward their ambition,” and “personal failure.” “Self-confident” is understandable, though “confidence” would fit more naturally in that sentence. The repeated use of “hard work” and “achieve” also limits flexibility. Aim to use more precise collocations and vary key terms—for example, distinguish between effort, progress, and outcomes rather than repeating broad expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including the contrast introduced by “Rather than assuming…” and the conditional-style clause “if they are determined.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly. Some grammatical and punctuation issues remain. In “the limitation of how it can be applied is excessive pressure,” the structure is awkward and the relationship between the ideas is unclear; a clearer construction would be “one limitation is that it can create excessive pressure.” The final sentence is a long chain of clauses, and the comma at the very end is incorrect. There is also a sentence fragment after “For example,” in the disadvantage paragraph because the example is separated by a line break and full stop. Use complete sentences and check clause boundaries and punctuation.

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