Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Hard work is a key to success. A person can achieve anything in life if he does hard work, but sometimes hard work alone cannot assist you to your goal. I will disscuss this in detail in the body paragraph.

To begin with, In some cultures, childrens are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This has many advantages. The first ever advantage is that this statement gives them no choices but to work hard because they think that the only key to achieve something is hard working. Moreover, it gives birth to new abilities in a child. When a child face hard times, he gives his full potential to overcome the difficulty. Many children are often separated from their parents after they turn 18, which develops a habbit of independence and hardship in them.

Yet, this action also have disadvantages too. We all know that every person has his own nature and thinking. Some children are not mentally and physically that strong, that they get remained with only one choice of hardwork. This also increases trustlessness of the children on their parents, In such a way that the child would think his parents dont love him etc. This action upsets him mentally. Moreover, When a child is told that everything is only achievable via hardwork, he will never be able to think in other ways but the one which was feeded in his mind.

As per my conclusion, this action has both advantages and disadvantages, But, i think there should be some love, parents help, and trust development rather than just abandoning them with only only thought.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a concluding view that children need more than a message about hard work. The advantages include motivation and developing independence, while the disadvantages include pressure on children who have different abilities and possible emotional effects. However, several points are asserted rather than clearly explained. For example, the claim that children are separated from their parents after turning 18 is not clearly connected to the message in the question, and the idea that it leaves children with “only one choice” needs a more specific explanation. Your opening also promises a discussion but does not establish a clear position. Develop each main point with a direct explanation or example, and make your overall view clear from the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “Yet” helps readers follow the shift between sides. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. The point about children leaving their parents at 18, for instance, appears without showing how it follows from the claim about encouragement to work hard. Repeated references to “this action” also make it difficult to identify exactly which idea is being discussed. Use more precise referencing and connect each example explicitly to the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “full potential,” “overcome the difficulty,” “independence,” and “mentally.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear. Examples include “the first ever advantage,” “gives birth to new abilities,” “trustlessness,” and “hardworking” where a noun phrase is needed. There are also spelling errors such as “disscuss,” “habbit,” and “feeded.” Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish motivation from pressure and explain the emotional consequences more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning “When a child…” and “in such a way that…,” so there is some structural variety. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, plurals, and punctuation occur often enough to affect clarity. For example, “this action also have disadvantages” needs subject–verb agreement, while “When a child face” requires a singular verb. In “Some children are not mentally and physically that strong, that they get remained,” the clause structure is faulty and the meaning is difficult to follow. Capitalisation after commas is also inconsistent. Practise accurate sentence patterns first, then use complex clauses where they make the relationship between ideas clear.

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