Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, the competition has very advanced throughout the world. So, in many cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. But it has many advantages and disadvantages as well.

On the one hand, many children feel low and underestimate themselves. They need motivation. This is the reason why, in many cultures, youth are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard because hard work is the key to success. For example, a student compares themselves with other students. These things are mostly recorded in youth because, at this age, children feel many things. They want to achieve their goals, but they underestimate themselves. They need those people who motivate and support them. In this way, students work hard and fulfil their dreams by turning them into reality. As a result, students know that hard work is the key to success. Another benefit is that our young generation learns from their elders.

On the other hand, there are several drawbacks. Some children are already making sacrifices for their families. If we say that they should try hard enough, due to this reason, many children go into depression, and sometimes it can even be a reason for suicide. For instance, not all children are the same; everyone has some ability or the other. Furthermore, if a student wants to choose the subject of maths but we pressure them to choose computer science, they work hard in computer science, and this is the reason why children go into depression and commit suicide.

In conclusions, telling children they can achieve anything is a well-intentioned way to build drive and resilience, it must be balanced with realism. The most effective approach is to praise the value of effort and strategy while teaching children that failure is a normal part of life and that adjusting one's goals is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant overall position: effort can build motivation, but encouragement should be balanced with realism. The discussion of motivation is supported by the example of students comparing themselves with others, while the final paragraph offers a thoughtful qualification about failure and changing goals. However, some points are less fully explained. The claim that young people learn from elders is introduced but not developed, and the link between pressure to choose a subject and depression or suicide needs clearer explanation and more careful support. Develop each main idea with a specific, logically connected example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes repetitive or unclear: the first body paragraph repeats that children need motivation and that hard work leads to success, while “These things” does not clearly identify what it refers to. The conclusion also introduces a more nuanced recommendation without fully connecting it to the examples above. Use clearer references and organise each paragraph around one main point, followed by explanation and an example, rather than relying mainly on repeated linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss motivation, achievement and pressure, including phrases such as “underestimate themselves,” “turning them into reality,” and “a normal part of life.” Some wording is also appropriately topic-focused, particularly the contrast between effort and realism. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “the competition has very advanced,” “These things are mostly recorded in youth,” and “everyone has some ability or the other.” Repetition of “hard work,” “children,” and “the reason why” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated terms; this would make your ideas clearer and more natural without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures such as “If we say that they should try hard enough…” and “while teaching children that failure is a normal part of life.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but some sentence construction and punctuation errors reduce control. For example, “In this modern era, the competition has very advanced” has an incomplete verb construction, and the final sentence joins two independent clauses with only a comma. The sentence beginning “For instance, not all children are the same” also shifts into a long, loosely connected explanation. Practise forming complete clauses, checking verb patterns, and separating or correctly joining independent clauses.

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