Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children from some cultures are often explained that they can achieve anything by trying hard enough. I am convinced that there are more advantages of this statement rather than disadvantages. However, I believe if parents support their children they can achieve their goals.

Building children with this mindset of being able to achieve anything by trying harder enough can actually make them feel under pressure and give them quiet alot of stress, this seem to be the only one disadvantage that children may get by hearing this. Such stress affects on mental health of children which can be depressing for them.

Trying hard to fulfill dreams is a great way to motivate children who are less privileged than others. It encourage them to work towards what they really want and believing in themselves. I'd argue that a person can achieve everything if they work for it. Keeping this in mind children can refine their mistakes and keep working.

Exhibiting support towards children while they are taught to work harder for everything can really help them feel better and supported. Support from their parents can actually make them achieve something that they want knowing that the parents would be proud either way.

Taking everything into account makes me believe that positivity matters the most, there are advantages and disadvantages for everything but with support this message has a great impact towards children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and state a position: you see more advantages, while identifying pressure and stress as a disadvantage. The discussion of motivation and parental support is relevant, but the ideas remain limited and are not developed with specific examples or explanation. For instance, you say that hard work can motivate less-privileged children, but do not explain how this message might help them overcome a particular obstacle. The conclusion repeats that positivity and support matter without clearly weighing the benefits against the risk of unrealistic expectations. The response is also 19 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop the task. Explain each side more fully and make your final judgement explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the disadvantage and advantages, and a concluding paragraph. This helps the reader follow the main points. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear: the introduction mentions parental support before the body explains its role, and the final paragraph introduces a broad claim about positivity rather than drawing together the earlier reasoning. Some links are mechanical or awkward, such as “Taking everything into account,” while the long opening sentence of the disadvantage paragraph combines several points without clear separation. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each explanation directly to the point it supports. More precise referencing would also help show how the ideas relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “under pressure,” “mental health,” “motivate,” “less privileged,” and “support.” These choices make your main meaning understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, which makes parts of the response awkward—for example, “explained that,” “trying harder enough,” and “impact towards children.” There is also repetition of “achieve,” “support,” and “children,” with few alternatives to express the ideas more precisely. Aim to use natural collocations and vary key terms, such as describing children as being “told” or “encouraged,” and referring to “pressure” or “expectations” more specifically.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if parents support their children they can achieve their goals” and a relative clause in “children who are less privileged than others.” However, errors occur in a number of sentences and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “this seem to be” instead of “this seems to be,” “It encourage” instead of “It encourages,” and “which can be depressing for them,” where the reference of “which” is unclear. The opening sentence also has an awkward passive construction, and punctuation is missing after the introductory conditional clause. Check subject–verb agreement, clause boundaries, and sentence punctuation, then proofread each sentence for clarity.

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