Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many cultures, children are usually told that they could acheive anything if they do hard work. There is an english saying that hard work is key to sucess. Hard work is an improvement in individuals life, which leads to becomde a sucessful person. It has both advantages and disadvantages, that i will explain in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, hard work is is an indispensible part in children's life to become sucessful person. First and foremost, children improve their knowledge, they become intlectual, by working on weakness of theirselves. For instance,if someone is not good at grammmar by working hard could improve their grammar. Secondaly keep working hard helps to improve focus and concentration and improves sitting power to study hard. When children work hard they feel confident and it creates positive attitude. This leads to achive their goals in their life.

On the other hand, children could take so much pressure and think to work hard it has some demerits like, firstly they are not able to do smart work but only seek to do hard and learn long methods to solve problems. They can also feel depress and do not able to learn anything rather need to go hospitals. Some times children choose to do sucide because of working so hard and afterthere not getting positve results.

To conclude, although it is good to teach children to do hard work to achieve in life but it also have some adverse impacts if children feel so much pressure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a relevant overall view: hard work can build confidence and help children reach goals, but excessive pressure may have harmful effects. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The benefits are illustrated with examples about improving grammar and concentration, while the disadvantages are mostly asserted rather than explained; for instance, the claims that children may need hospital treatment or choose suicide need careful explanation and support. The response also shifts from the specific message that children can achieve anything through effort to hard work in general. To strengthen the response, explain how this message can motivate children, and how unrealistic expectations may lead to disappointment, using balanced, clearly developed examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “First and foremost,” “Secondaly,” and “firstly” rather than links that show how one point develops from another. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the move from working hard to needing hospital treatment. The conclusion restates the contrast but does not bring the main reasons together. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; clearer referencing would also help the argument flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “focus and concentration,” “confident,” “positive attitude,” and “pressure.” This gives you enough language to communicate the basic ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow: “sitting power,” “working on weakness of theirselves,” and “do smart work” are not natural expressions in these contexts. Spelling errors such as “acheive,” “sucessful,” and “positve” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for motivation, effort, expectations, and stress, and check spelling carefully. More natural collocations would make your points clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if someone is not good at grammar.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, and articles frequently make the reader work to understand the meaning. For example, “children could take so much pressure” and “they are not able to do smart work but only seek to do hard” have unclear grammatical patterns; “it also have some adverse impacts” also shows an agreement error. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, including the run-on opening of the example and lowercase “i.” Practise building accurate sentences with clauses such as “If children work hard, they may…” and proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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